Short stories through consumerism : a proposed game

[gumpzilla]

So, it seems like a lot of supermarkets/Wal-Marts these days sell just about everything. Back in college, I had to make an unusual cluster of purchases one day. The reaction from the cashier was priceless - she looked at me in horror and disdain and asked if she should just throw everything in the bucket. Afterwards, I thought that it would be an entertaining game to try and come up with the best choice of four distinct items for maximum effect, or that tell the best story.

I'd forgotten about this for a while, but a post in another thread reminded me of it and I think OOT could have some fun with it. To my mind, good entries should have a certain degree of randomness yet feel somehow unified. Also, no danglers; I feel like everything should contribute in some way to the overall picture. To give a starting place, here's what I purchased that day (complete with bullets for the bullet lovers):
[*] a giant plastic bucket, large enough that a person could easily sit inside[*] 3 boxes of condoms[*] a jar of Tostitos queso dip[*] the Holy Bible

Your turn!