WSOP Trip Report part 19, The Evolution of Live

[Bond18]

WSOP Trip Report part 19, The Evolution of Live
I could write just another trip report about the two tournaments I played at the Bellagio, but what would be the point? The hands were all very standard except the ones I posted and one which I played badly, and the players were awful. In the first one I was just card dead all day and never got anything going, then got most of my chips in with a straight draw vs an over pair and whiffed. In the second I was enormous chip leader 2 hours 15 minutes in and through a combinations of bad beats and one bad call was busto about 3 hours later well short of the money. Instead I’d like to write something more original and random, an evolution of what happens to a man as he plays more and more live poker. I present you with ‘The Evolution of Live’.

Day 1: The live player is thrilled to be in Las Vegas. He can’t wait to get to the felt and prove that everything he has learned online has made him a vastly superior player to the last time he played with real people. The live player goes to sleep that night full of anticipation.

End of week 1: The live player is thoroughly enjoying himself. He is amazed at how awful everyone is at live and their total inability to comprehend even the most basic concepts. The live player handles beats with the calm confidence of a man who has experienced 1000X any possible suck out or combination of suck outs through his thousands of online hands. The live player knows that no matter how awful he runs it is simply variance which will be more extreme given the pace of live. The live player enjoys all the interesting characters he meets on the table and hearing peoples hilarious theories on how to play tournaments. The live player finds the spectacle of the WSOP and the Amazon room impressive and eye catching, and he looks forward to future results.

End of week 2: The live player begins feeling slightly more tired, as the long tournament hours throw off his sleep schedule and force inconsistency. The live player still is not concerned with running bad as he knows 2 weeks of live poker is the equivalent volume of 1 day online. The spectacle of the WSOP has been lost, but the live player can still appreciate its scope and the enormous amount of money up for grabs. The live player begins adjusting to other live players tendencies and patterns, finding them mostly predictable and often hilariously so. The live player enjoys meeting people face to face finally and forming new friendships. The live player does find the perpetual play and lack of free time sometimes tiring though.

End of week 3: The live player is feeling increasingly exhausted. He no longer finds the stupid insane theories of how to play being spouted from the mouths of his table mates amusing and finds their constant talk of “OH MY GOD I GOT IT ALL IN WITH AK vs A5 AND GUESS WHAT? RIVER 5!!!” to be mind numbing. The live player begins to feel slightly annoyed when a tournament ruining beat is put on him seeing as an entire days worth of time and energy is wasted. The live player now finds the predictable tendencies of other live players laughable but also finds it incredibly tedious to have to fold so much since live players are disgustingly weak and he is often not deep enough to see flops due to poor live structure. The live player begins to worry that his technical game is in fact moving backwards and not forwards, and that when everything is said and done with he will be a worse player.

End of week 4: The live player feels totally exhausted. Maintaining an even semi normal sleep schedule, even with the addition of medication, has become near impossible. The live player secretly desires to strangle every person who tells them about losing a flip like it’s the worst beat ever but instead nods and zones out. The live players lines between right and wrong begin to blur and the walls seem to move, paintings might be talking to him. The live player attempts to avoid the Amazon room and its crowds masturbating to the sight of incredible live pros like Toto Leonidas like the plague, and when compelled to enter the room is forced to stiff arm his way to the table. The live player wishes he could find solace at the bottom of a bottle if only he had the time to open one.

End of week 5: The live player’s friends cannot find him one morning. They come to his hotel room and knock viciously but there is no answer. The live player is not in any of the poker rooms. When the house keeping enters the live players door to his hotel room the find the live player on the floor in his underwear, switching off between crying and laughing hysterically, seemingly at nothing. The house keeping elects to steal the live players wallet and leave him be. The live players sanity can only be restored by being placed in front of a computer with a full tilt tournament where logic applies and he is not forced to listen to bad beat stories.


Next week is the WSOP ME. Hoo ray? IDK, I’ll try and have some fun the next couple days and relax a bit, hopefully go in to the main fresh. Going out to dinner now, GL in all your tournaments and the ME everyone.