Toss's WSOP* Adventure (A Trip Report)

[toss]

The Sports bar at Imperial Palace is surprisingly large, but unsurprisingly empty. My Chinese friend needs to make a few 7-team parlays for some people back home. I decide to bet $10 on an 8-team parlay (baseball) just to one-up him, and hey, $10 to win $417 ain't bad. After what seems like an hour the cocktail waitress swings by; we all order Midori Sours. If you have a lavender scented vag, then this drink is for you. Tastes great but it has less alcohol than a cup of Scope. So the Twins are down like 11-0 (there goes my eight-team parlay) and we leave the Sports bar to find something else to burn money on.

We play craps and we run ice-cold. Friends go upstairs, but I stay downstairs to checkout the pokerroom.

The pokerroom is what I expected. Not really a room, no frills, and low limits. I buy-in for 100BBs at 200NL (yay Vegas) and scope out the competition... I'll just assume they're all donkeys for now. The session started off well enough. I make an easy lay down with top two versus an obvious turned flush, I resist the temptation to isolate the limpers with junk, and I order beer instead of hard liquor. Then I get it all in preflop with KK and lose to AA. Only $100 left in my pocket. I go the ATM and withdraw $600 (max) with a $5 and probably more fees on my bank's side. I plop down 30 twenty dollar bills on the felt and say, "It's time to play." They only let me buy-in for 100BBs. I raise 65o to $25 early position and it's 3 to the flop. J62, I have a pair. Someone donks, I push All in, he calls with TP/TK and I show. Rebuy. I raise very next hand with A2o and get like 5 callers. Flop is 246 and I lead. Some donk minraises and I call. Turn is a 2 giving me trips. I checkraise him AI and he calls with who knows what. Stack is $500. I straddle UTG, everyone folds(?!?) to the button who calls, I push AI. She angrily squeaks, "You want my $4 that bad?!" and mucks while giving me the evil eye. I shrug. I decide to slowdown and limp Q8o in late position. 6 to the flop of Q95 all spades. Checked to me, I bet pot, girl who is angry at me calls. Turn is 8 not a spade. I bet, she calls. River is 8 of spades haha. I push and she stares me down. I remain still with a silly smile on my face and long island ice tea swiveling in my right hand. She calls and confidently asks "What you got?" I turn over my full house. She is angry. Stack up to $700ish, back to even.

Now I could've quit here and rejoin my friends up in the hotel room. I could've tightened way the hell up and watch them pay me off with garbage. I could've stop ordering rubbing alcohol on the rocks and switch to something a little bit lighter. I didn't

I straddle UTG and 5 donks limp. I look at my cards to find ATo so naturally I push out a stack of red ($100) into the middle. Folded to the Button who calls... he has me covered. Oh s**t Flop is Q72r. Such a dry board right? Silly not to take stab right? I move out two stacks of red into the middle. He thinks for 2 seconds than minraises. Oh my flying f**k, what did I just f**king do, did I just f**king donk off 1.5 buyins in one hand on a pure braindead bluff? I did just bluff off $300 benjamins on the retardo bluff on the century. I hollywood for a few seconds, you know just to protect my solid tight image, and muck my hand. The girl who is angry out me smiles. Stack down to $400. I try to play tight. I do. I lose another $100 in a way I don't remember for things are blurry. Not because I'm drunk because I'm very angry at myself. A lot more angry than if I lost my cash at Blackjack or Roullete. You see, it's one thing to burn money at the pit, but it's entirely different when you're turning your bread-and-butter into cash-giveaway session. I'm supposed to make money at poker, not donk it off to donkeys. That's like going to the zoo just to have the monkeys fling poo at you. My friends swing back and I make a very smart decision and cash out. They ask how I did. I tell them that I played poorly. They understand enough not to probe further.

We seriously consider going back to the Wynn buffet for dinner, but head towards the Grand Lux instead; that place where we eat last time in my last Vegas trip report. We take the car instead of a cabbie to Luxor because thats where the Grand Lux would be right? Nope, the Grand Lux is at the Venetian. No matter, we find a cafe there anyways. I continue pickling my liver by ordering a bloodymary (I love spicy things) and a glass of sparkling champagne. I inhale both and barely touch my clam chowder. Friends order sandwiches (I swear they always order sandwiches) but lay off the booze. I try to get them to drink because it's no fun being the only one drunk; alas, I fail and no additional booze is ordered. The meal is crap compared to the Wynn Buffet (god I want to go there right now) and we leave to gambol some more. Craps with a $10 minimum? Too rich for my blood! $10 Roullete? Where the hell is the 50cent roullete I've been hearing about? (My brother now tells me it only exists downtown.) $15 Blackjack? You crazy mang? That's like 3 work hours a hand for my non-balla friends. Instead of gambling we aimlessly head back towards the Imperial Palace.

My friends are tired. I'm tired. But I have a job to do. Chase losses at poker room downstairs haha.

Next Part: The critical session. Will Toss make back his money?



The answer is HELL F**KING NO! Stay tuned!