The Not Ready-Dawkins Symposium

[David Sklansky]

The following is just a figment of my imagination. Not a true story. But it just might happen someday.

Rutgers University decides to conduct a symposium entitled Does God Exist. All their students are invited. The speakers/debaters are, on the atheistic side, Sam Harris, Richard Dawkins, and because of his twoplustwo fame, Phil 153. The theists are the Catholic cardinal for the northeast, a prominent rabbi from Brandeis University and Not Ready. When the three hour symposium ends, the theists get a standing ovation. Only polite applause for the atheists.

Afterwards Not Ready and a friend sit down at a booth in a nearby restaurant to enjoy a post debate dinner. In the booth behind them is Rabbi Nathan who participated in the debate and his friend Izzy. They are deep in conversation so they don't notice that Not Ready is sitting behind them with his back to them. But Not Ready can hear everything they say. The conversation goes something like this:

Nathan: Izzy do you believe how well that went? And we owe it all to Not Ready. Those ideas about how chance is not ultimate. How morals can not be something for man to decide for himself. How life without God is clearly meaningless and basically a big joke. The ridiculousness of something popping out of nothing. He hit a complete home run with those things. Really connected with the people. And certainly changed a few minds. God is very happy tonight. And Not Ready should be proud he had something to do with that.

Izzy: But Nathan, you had some good ideas yourself.

Nathan: Yes, but neither I, nor the cardinal had anywhere near the impact of Not Ready. Clearly this is a man who has thought deeply about God and understands him well.

Izzy: You do realize Nathan that he is a Christian, a fundamentalist Protestant?

Nathan: Yes, of course. So what. We Jews understand that he is a little bit confused about the exact nature of the Hebrew prophet Jesus. So are a lot of people. But it is no big deal. Not Ready's place in heaven is assured. If it wasn't before today, it is now. When we meet him there we will have all the time in the world to talk about this glorious day.

Izzy: So you are not bothered by all those beliefs we don't share with him?

Nathan. Not really. Although his beliefs mean I must pray for him every day. Especially now.

Izzy: So you do admit that he has blasphemous beliefs and that you must pray to try to rid him of them?

Nathan: No not at all. His technical errors are of no consequence. I already said that his place in heaven is assured. I only pray for him because I know he is tormented. And I pray that this torment goes away.

Izzy: Tormented by what?

Nathan: Tormented by the thought that WE aren't going to heaven. Sure he will find out one day that he was wrong. But until then I know it will eat at him. And it bothers me that this man of God should suffer needlessly while he is alive. So I pray for him.

At this point they get up and start to leave. And notice Not Ready. Not Ready begins to speak to them. But at now my imagination becomes cloudy. What do you think he will say?