Beat: Single stupidest thing I've done at a poker table

[J-Mac]

So it's 6 am, I've just gotten back from a live 2/5nl game in an underground nyc poker club. Let me take you through what happened.

So I've just sat at the table, played one orbit. I have A4o in the BB. 5 or 6 way limped pot, I check. Flop is T53 rainbow. Checks to a middle age lady in the CO who bets i think $10 into the $35 dollar pot, call from the SB, I call because some stacks at the table are pretty deep, and also because I've been drinking, and calling is more fun than folding LDO.

Turn is an offsuit K. I check, lady bets $100, sb thinks and calls, I c/r to 300, small, but I think it'll do the trick, they both seem super weak. Lady thinks and shoves. F--k. SB thinks and folds like I knew he would, it's like $14 left to me, I call obv, hoping to hit a 2 and tilt someone baby.

River is a 6. F--k. i say, "sh-t, i missed." and toss my cards face down in the muck. Guy next to me gasps a little and says, you should have turned your hand over. Wtf? I'm thinking, I have A-high against a lady who 3-bet-AI against a turn c/r, she's obv got A high cruuuuushed.

Then I look at the lady, who has a quizzical look on her face. "What do you have?"

WTFROFLBBQ I already folded you dumb b-tch?!?!?!

Dealer nudges her, "Just show your cards to take the pot down."

She looks confused, the way I imagine her looking when someone tries to explain how velcro works to her.

Then she turns over her hand. Eight. Deuce. Offsuit. No pair, no draw, no nothing, eight high.

I suddenly realize what I've done, as the $1kish pot (which sadly would be about 10% of my net worth)is getting shipped to her.

Everyone else at the table starts chiming in, wtf dude, why didn't you show your hand, she's been doing retarded crap like that for two hours?

Well, I'm SORRY, jackasses, I just GOT here, I wasn't watching the game on GSN before I popped over!!!

Turns out she's the wife of some billionaire or something and has been absolutely brain dead for hours before I got there. Nice to know, NOW!

OFC, that doesn't stop her from hit-and-running me THAT VERY INSTANT.

I'm tilting like Oprah and Rosie on a see-saw now and I ask the table if anyone wants to flip for my remaining ~$500, bc obv I'm better off with a 0 EV proposition than actually playing poker after a self-imposed disaster like that. No takers. Queers.

Table mocked me for the rest of the night. And rightly so. Hee-haw.

Brag: Played some more and somehow left +250.
Beat: Gave away 1k because I'm clinically retarded.
Variance: Drinking Vitamin Water at 6:30 am, kinda like it.