NEED HELP BADLY

[wantmystack]

I dont even know where to start, about 3yrs ago I began to learn or at least understand the game of NL Texas hold'em.. its a love hate relationship, im completely addicted, bought about 8 books... watched numerous videos and read article after article and i even purchased Poker Academy, I can kick butt vs the pokibots or in the tournaments i cash every single time... try and put money on PP or PS and im just a complete donk.. i keep playing above my level or just get too scared to make moves... I WANT to be a good player I NEED to be a good player i dont know what the hell i'm doing wrong... im not that down $$ wise but i have lost my wife and my house due to this game... do i give up now and everything ive lost means nada or do i continue and just fight thru the pain