LV Trip Report #1: Escape from the Venetian

[Clayton]

Other considerations for thread titles:
- Dr. Strangedonk, or how I learned to stop worrying and love the dramabomb
- Harold and Kumar don't go to the White Castle at the Venetian because the floor staff are pro-aryan
- The Pianist (don't really know why I threw that in there, but I like this movie, so deal with it)
- The Rise of Mussolini

Okay, now that that's out of the way, I would like to share with you my enjoyable evening at the Venetian meeting up with goofyballer, carrotsnake, and tufat for the first time.

I'm about to hit the bed at my place and I get a ring from goofy, who says we should all meet and play at the Venetian. I'm down, since I've never played cash at the Venetian before and I had just gotten a massage there maybe 10 hours prior and was feeling limber enough to pull through in a long session.

So, I down a Red Bull and make the drive over, getting lost in the Bellagio construction site along the way (don't ask me how).

I make my way over to the poker room, which is nicely laid out and huge , like the size of a recreational skating rink but square and not walled-off. The boards for games are just like the Wynn, and I'm looking forward to sitting in a game with Goofy and/or Carrot (I later learned Tufat was live money busto, a common occurance for those who are forced to down American highway food for 5 days leading up to Vegas).

And then, it happens: I meet Goofyballer! But that wasn't "it" that happened.

"It" was an entity of paranoia that would soon encompass every fiber of my being. I heard those dreadful words from Bryan that I had not yet encountered at the Bellagio, the Wynn, or the Rio.

"I got carded by the old guy running the games at the front".

Well, crap. This left me with a few options

1) Say to hell with it and face the old man with my really good fake ID
2) Wait until the old man walks away, goes to the bathroom, or keels over and dies
3) Play blackjack (with the same risk of getting carded)

And see, here's the thing to you viewers that don't know me so well. I AM A PARANOID CHILD. No vices, brought up well, and I play online poker. SWEET. Except the thing where if there's any sort of threat of being carded (me being 20 years 7 months old) I become incredibly worried.

So, with this newfound knowledge from goofy who goes back to sitting at the 2/5 NL game, I wander around the casino hoping the old man trips over a chair, or some similar form of fate. I come to terms with the fact that I am definitely getting carded (carrot disagrees with me @ this point, meeting him sometime after this). So I go and register for the game (2/5 NL, I buyin for $1k cap) under my initials, FMR. I wait and further introduce myself to carrot, and notice that at least 70% of people on both carrot and goofy's table are over the age of 30. JACKPOT, MOTHAFUCKAAAA.

So, I get called and get my chips when the old man is replaced by a cool, younger guy. I go to my table, sitting conveniently three seats to the right of carrot, and an older gentleman approaches me and asks how much I want.

I die a little on the inside, and ask for $1k.

Old man: "Do you have a player's card?"
Me: "No sir, I usually play at the Bellagio"
Old man (as he's getting 1k in reds): "Can I see your ID?"

My heart stops. Everything becomes motionless, almost at a standstill. The fruit wheel jackpot bingo machine on the other side of the room is clicking at a distinctly lower rate than what would be considered normal. I can hear Tufat thinking to himself 35 feet away. I hear grass grow...

- and I take out my fake casually and hand it to him. The old man looks at it for 2 seconds, long enough for carrot to stifle a childish giggle from the other side of the table (good thing, because I'd pimp slap him as I'd leave the casino).

"Ok, thanks"

- Wait, what? I succeeded in my first carding? O RLY?

Things become normal again and I can only hear tufat talking to himself from 35 feet away now. I get my racks of reds and sit down. BUT IT DON'T STOP THERE, NOW DO IT?

Carrot and I engage in some friendly banter, and I am happy to learn carrot is a normal, cool georgia tech nerd, and not an antisocial DDR-playing, styrofoam-cup drinkig Tech nerd. Of course, I have yet to meet a single 2+2'er I didn't get along with, so this came as littler surprise.

Some hands happen, mostly involving me missing flops and not making plays at multiway pots against old people, and then I get deal a sick hand (8c7s) and raise to 20. A kid 2 to my left flatcalls the 20 with like 140 behind. Notes on this kid is that he has said he is not an internet player after LRR'ing his short stack, and he knows me and carrot are friends.

So, the kid calls the 20, and carrot promptly makes it 100 from the hijack. NH carrot, bastard, etc, lets fold and move on. Of course I hear to my left: "Oh, I see, taking my money, If you fold I'm gonna have to call the rail".

Apparantly my buying in for $1,000 at this stupid game and pre-tipping pots I HAVEN'T WON YET means that myself and carrot are out to take on the world of live poker, one isolation team-play squeeze at the time. His tone suggested he was half-kidding, but it could also mean he was dead serious and didn't want his remainiing cab fare being fk'd with.

This is all going through my head at the time as I decide my best options not to play the hand optimally, but to NOT GET CARDED AGAIN AND THROWN INTO A TAIWANESE PRISON. As such, I defend with my offsuit connector and checkfold a monotone ace high, hearts flop. Carrot shows the Kh as he drags the pot (and later says he had AK to me, and the only reason he showed was because he knew what I was thinking. THANKS CARROT!)

So, having dodged two total bullets of getting abandoned in the siberian wilderness by the Venetian floor staff, a bunch of standard hands happen where I pwn everyone and correctly call carrot's hand once or twice in large pots (whee I can still read hands even tho I rarely play more than 3 handed anymore). Some other random things happen, and in spite of my donation to carrotsnake with 8 high I finish ahead $100, because the table broke and carrot and I decided it was in our better interests to not play HU live (just another awesome reason to get carded by the floor to get one's own game). 4 players had to high-card for two free 2/5 seats, and I obviously peel the 2c. Not wanting to deal with the drama of being back on the waiting list and being further paranoid, I head home.

Never before have I been so stressed and/or paranoid in a casino in my entire life. I will probably never play at the Venetian for the way I was treated ever again, unless I play one of their deepstacked tournaments. I would advise anyone under 21 to not go anywhere near the Venetian, and instead stick to the Wynn and the Bellagio, where you only get carded if you look 15 or if you challenge an old guy to play HU.

This report deserves an MS Paint, and if people like my trip reports enough I may include them in the future.

Cliffnotes: Venetian is good for massages and really bad for poker if you're younger than 21. But Goddd, the games were SO SOFTTTT.