fun wiv 2 birds

[Cockney Wankah]

sew, I woz talkin to dese tew swamp donkeys, and gettin them a bit Brahms, when the ugly wun sez 'ear, dew yew live arahnd ere?'
'Yeah', ah sez, 'wanna come and see me digs?'
So er and the uvvah ugly wun come back to me drum, and ah get on dah old Marvin. Before yah know it, they're doin a turn on the bed, gammin the gammon an aww sorts. Shockin. I cooodnt believe mah mince pies.

Anyway, I get me keks off, and get up to me nuts in chuff. They warm up dah ole luvv spuds sommink smashing, and ahm playin Sooty an Sweep wiv em, if ya know whot ah mean. Next, they start workin me Kojak and doin alsorts. Ah drew the line at one trying to tickle me Bourneville Boulevard...she might be makin me breakfast, an its fahkin unhygenic...but ah soon get in me stride, givin one a good seein to, then dah uvvah.

Finally, I gits to the vinegar strokes, and dump the fish stew all over dere boats, and the dirty mares luv it. Ah fink dey must be starved of affecshun.


Anyways, we keep dis up till ahm runnin on empty, an they still want more, so bein a gennleman, ah had to keep iron in me todger and keep goin. Well, you afta, dontcha?