Women: who are these people and what are they thinking

[private joker]

In an effort to steer OOT away from some of the lesser advanced OOT-girl threads (like OMG She Wrote Me On Facebook How Do I Ask Her Out and How Do I Tell My Mom I Lost My Virginity), I'd like to step into some post-graduate territory like figuring out chicks once you're in a relationship.

Here's a recent example of a conversation I had with my girlfriend... (for reference: she's a petite 5'4" Chinese girl with great legs and a tight figure who weighs about 100 lbs soaking wet)

Her: I need to lose weight
Me: ORLY? No. I don't like Nicole Richie k-thnx.
Her: Just 10 pounds so I can be as skinny as I was a couple years ago.
Me: That's ridiculous.
Her: Then you should put on weight, so I don't feel so fat.
Me: I'm fine with my body. I'm not going to pack on love handles just so you can feel thinner.
Her: But that's why they're called love handles.
Me: ...
Her: I'm hungry, it's 4:00 and I haven't eaten all day.
Me: What? Eat something please.
Her: I don't want to; I'm trying to lose 10 lbs.
Me: Jesus, you know a better way to lose weight instead of starving yourself is to eat small meals frequently, to speed up your metabolism -- while you also gain the essential nutrients you need to remain alive.
Her: So you're saying you agree that I need to lose weight?!??!?!
Me: [shoots self in the face]


Why. why. why.


Anyway, if anyone can get past what this nightmare means and what my play should be, then proceed to broaden this thread to talk about other mind games women normally play, and how to avoid falling into their traps. I'll think of more examples when I have a chance, and probably keep updating this thread every day as my girlfriend comes up with new and more clever ways to be insane.