DS, god, and probability: the real brandi story

[PLOlover]

so anyway DS is walking (from the poker table) along on his way to the sports book after a quickie "mentoring" detour, planning on showing all those ivy league awholes whos the best when he wins the world series of horse betting,

but when he gets there instead of a cashier type it's the devil incarnate. the devil asks him if he would like to place a wager. DS says are you working here now or something? but the devil just smiles.

The devil continues on and says that this is a sidebet that DS doesn't really have to worry about the details, it's a free offer.

DS now is about to pee his pants but luckily he went right after his mentoring session so holds it together for the time being.

The devil details his offer as follows. He places two envelopes, A and B, on the counter. He will offer DS, free of charge, the choice of taking both envelopes, or just taking envelope A . The devil claims that he knows with virtual certainty what DS will pick, given that the devil has perfected his human measure metric analysis nomena, or H.U.M.A.N. for short, and has used it to win many people parlays. In fact, says the devil, it has never been wrong. (he mutters something about Job being before the whole H.U.M.A.N. system, and was in fact its impetuous.) The devil says he has already written a promissory note in each envelope, guarantored by "the big guy", based on the devil's prediction which has already been made.

The devil tells you that if he has predicted DS will pick only envelope A, they contain
A- 80/20 favorable staking deal with Brandi who will be guaranteed to win the world series main event (he mentions a similiar deal has been made before ...) as well as as many special mentoring sessions with Brandi (devil winks lewdly) as DS likes.
B- azz many venal sins with Brandi as DS desires

The devil tells you that if he has predicted DS will pick both envelopes, the envelopes contain
A- a free subscription to the watchtower magazine.
B- azz many venal sins with Brandi as DS desires

The envelopes are already on the table and an angel appears behind DS as a security guard and tells him to hurry up and pick it's not a trick or anything, what's written in the envelopes will not change,the contents are known to the angel, etc., and it is indeed guarantored by the big guy himself.

DS picked ...