Beat: Nearing busto - What to do?

[ImNotSoGood]

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way too many shots at MTTs out of my roll

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but couldn't take the wins seriously and played MTTs out of my bankroll.

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Ummm, maybe you should stop doing this.

People take bad-beats all the time...even in big tourneys on the bubble.

I finished 5th, 4th and 3rd out of 200 or so in back-to-back-to-back WSOP satellites on kind of lousy beats.
It happens.

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I understand, I tell myself this all the time. Control yourself, make a steady grind. I can safely grind sit and gos, I'm fairly confident that I can beat almost all sit and gos online. Discluding the super nosebleed.

The beats I've been taking are horrid, I'm not exaggerating, but I am also not going to post them because I'm pretty sure no one here really wants to see more bad beats. The thing that makes them so unbearable for me is that it's a tease and a mindgame all at once. Time and time again I would get close to very significant money only to take a sick beat. I know that in the longrun it's supposed to even out and that's what's making it so hard.

I may not have a ton of posts but I do understand statistics very well and am not scared of variance.
It's just a rollercoaster that I keep putting myself through, running bad, taking shots, getting so close when the money is important and just getting a brutal beat.