God? Maybe. But we all came from something, right?

[BalancedOne]

I've always had a hard time verbalizing my thoughts about whether or not I believe in god. I certainly don't believe in the bible as the "word of god." I really have a hard time accepting that Jesus died for my sins. I think Jesus was probably a really good person that probably taught a lot of people of his time how to live a good life. But was he able to turn water into wine? Probably not. I completly believe in evolution. I think that we evolved from apes and that the universe is something like 3 billion years old. (Although I can't even imagine how long that is) I've always thought that one of the most important things that I've ever asked myself is "where did I come from?" Probably like a lot of people, especially on this forum, I think about that question a lot. And this is what I think. Everything that has ever existed came from the Big Bang. From me and you, to both of my sons (3 and 20 months), to this computer, to all the stars in the sky, the moon, everything in the universe came from the big bang. So in essence, I have ALWAYS existed. The stuff that makes me who I am has ALWAYS been around. It's just that now that I'm me, my perspective has changed. I can see things from this point of view. But the "energy" that created me has always been there. I was trying to explain this to my wife, and 2 friends of ours last night at dinner and I always have a hard time explaining myself. (Maybe you are having a hard time understanding me now) I gave an example to them like this: Imagaine a cup of chocolate milk that doesn't yet exist, but has really ALWAYS been around. I say that it's always been around because the milk is already here, and the Hershey's chocolate syrup is already here, but the chocolate milk doesn't exist yet because the 2 ingredients haven't been mixed together yet. When they get mixed together, the chocolate milk is now created and now can exist as chocolate milk. It's perspective has changed. The stuff that was needed to create me has always existed, it's just now that I am experiencing life from this perspective, and when I die, maybe my perspective will change again. Maybe I will gain the perspective as my oldest son.

I don't know. Maybe this rambling of thoughts doesn't make any sense. Maybe you can understand why I have a hard time verbalizing my thoughts.

Thanks!

BalancedOne