OK, so

[PartyGirlUK]

I've had this major life decision that I've been oscillating over for a few months. Im still no closer to resolving things, so lets see if OOT can shed some wisdom.

OK, about me. I'm real smart. And I'm unusually creative in terms of research ideas, ways to improve products etc. I've had many amazing people tell me I can write my own book in life. But I'm pretty lazy, and I see a lot of Sklansky and a bit of Anacardo in me. I don't want to be like them. And I'm all too aware that it isn't what you could have done that matters in life, but what you actually do.

And I want to achieve a lot. I'm not sure I have the drive to be Prime Minister, or CEO of a FTSE 100 company (nor maybe the ability), and I dont want a high profile/stress job. But I wouldn't be satisfied making a couple of mil from poker, then semi-retiring, getting by on wits and not really doing anything. Even though I do value leisure and freedom very highly, I admire people who actually go out and do stuff and live life to the fullest.

I've been offered a PhD placement in Econ at the U of Chicago. Its a top 5 program in the world. The faculty is unbelievable. It's almost surely my only opportunity to get into such a top institution. I have to decide whether to accept or not.

I am a curious guy. I ask a lot of questions, and so in some ways it makes sense to utilise what abilites I have for answering them. And even if I were smarter than 99.9% of people, that leaves 6 million people smarter than me, some of them clearly so. Being around them can help me think better and learn, and whatever road I go down in life this will be beneficial, if only for myself.

I can't see myself being an academic all my life. 40 years is a helluva long time and I suspect I would become bored pretty quickly. I crave the new and exciting. Perhaps this will change but right now I dont see anything specific that the PhD would lead towards. I don't see myself having and I don't want, 'a normal life' or a 'career'. And the first year of top econ PhD programs are TOUGH, and Chicago is notably tougher than anywhere else. Hyde Park is a really depressing place, so I think for at least 10 months might life would really suck. Then there is another year of courses which are much more fun, then I can live/do wherever I want essentially. Some of the stuff in the first year I find interesting, but a lot of I don't care about/value and would really not enojy doing.

If I don't do the PhD, there is a business I want to set up. I don't think it would make me a fortune, but I'd really like being my own boss, and the creative/day to day stuff of running my own business. There is also this poker documentary that I have sidelined due to figuring I was going to do the PhD, but I think it's an awesome idea and I would definitely love making it, and get immense, immense satisfaction if I made a really great piece of work that was an accurate portrayal of online poker life, and that people enjoyed watching (even if it didnt make me rich).

Those things don't really lead down as clear a path as the PhD though, and also they might be tough on me socially - the business and poker (which I would play to support myself) are sitting in front of a PC on my own, I would have to move out of Chicago due to visa reasons, whereas in the PhD I woudl be around young super smart people, having a healthy life would be that much more natural......

Well there is a lot more I could go into, but I'll leave that until people ask questions. Basically my natural bent in life leads down a path that I don't want to, and I'm looking not to end up like people I pity.