How much did I f up?

[adsman]

Dear Shmuck,

What can I say? It's men like you who give us a bad name. What were you thinking? I hope you feel guilty as hell. You girlfriend sure as hell wouldn't be proud of you. You're a disgusting little worm. You're a disgrace to all of mankind. You make me want to puke. I can feel the bile rising in my throat as I type. You disgusting, brutal, horrible, dirt-baggy, scum-sucking piece of belly-button lint.

If you wish to redeem yourself, next time grab some balls and at least get to first base.

Regards,

Your personal life coach.