celebrity driving

[oe39]

if you are a celebrity, is there any way to die and not have people feel sorry for you? does anyone care that these people are recklessly endangering the lives of the less fortunate?

marbury going 75 in a 50 with a BAC of .153. corzine going 90+ in a 50 without a seat belt. hancock going 68 in a 55 with a .157. paris hilton driving while female.

if i were a celebrity, i'd try a mix of designer stimulants and recreational hallucinogens then cause an accident by driving a car full of explosives at a dangerous speed on the wrong side of the road while firing a handgun at a bus full of nuns.

although this sounds crazy, i'd like to think that it would be a perfectly rational test. i hypothesize that upon my death i'd be treated to days of television coverage as if i were a beloved philanthropist, even if during life i was a belligerent horndog who lucked into a celebrity role in spite of obvious recklessness.

cliffs notes: one of the benefits of celebrity is that people will be sorry for you even if you drive wasted and endanger other people