How would most places rule on this?

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My point -- though this case was egregous (the dealer had messed up twice) many dealers really get upset if players try to help.

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Then don't help--unless the dealer is screwing something up. It's so simple.

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You're basically saying the dealer is going to make mistakes and that's just the way it is; which I agree with. But if a player thinks he sees a problem he has to be absolutely certain of it before saying anything? See a double standard here? If players are supposed to be tolerant of dealer errors, dealers need to be tolerant of players pointing out issues where no problem exists.