I'm a social retard...

[aflaba]

I've always been pretty introvert. I work pretty well in social situations although I don't talk all that much. In later years I've learned how to small talk though. But that wasn't something that came natural to me growing up.

Almost whenever I meet people that I haven't known for years I get a bit tense and panicy. Sometimes everything works fine anyways and I'm able to enjoy myself and be casual and keep my mind on the people I'm talking with.

But other times I just want to flee, flee far away!!! And I think of escape ways to get out of the conversation as quickly as possible, and to avoid making any commitments or anything. Just flee!

Now if the were dangerous or unfriendly I would have no problem with my behavior. But sometimes, most of the time, after having fled and having calmed down a bit, I realize that really I wish I would have done the opposite and stayed and chit chatted and then went partying with them...

When I was younger I was ok with this. I guess I thought I'd grow out of it. But now I'm 22, which is still young, but I've been like this for as long as I've known myself, since age 6 at least. It kind of bums me. I don't know if I'm making any progress. If I am it is very slow.

I feel like I'm missing many opportunities and experiences in life. Not just partying. All areas of life. I don't want to flee from action any more. What is your advice? Should I just accept that I am an introvert? Should I find workarounds? Should I practice? Prepare?

Please give me advice, and if there are any good directions, point me in them. I'd like to hear your personal experiences as well, or things you've seen.