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#7
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[ QUOTE ]
"Later that night we finished off another case of beer and went out in the boat again." -would perhaps sound better as- "Later that night, after we'd finished yet another case of Labatt, we again found ourselves out on the lake." [/ QUOTE ] i disagree. I like the rest of what you said. I'll add some sensory detail to my "king of the dock" paragraph edit: actually I like the way you rewrote that line too |
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