Lost in Translation (not the movie)

[fyodor]

Um… now that I’ve already written what follows I feel a need to post it. It’s rather lengthy though, and probably of little interest to anyone. It’s mostly an observation on the idiosyncrasies of translations. We lose so much when we depend on others. Someone please read the whole thing and tell me I don’t sound like too much of a pretentious idiot. I’ve got to go watch a hockey game.

Picked up my new copy of Crime and Punishment today. As soon as I started reading it I noticed a huge difference in the translation. I have read C&P about 4 times (maybe 5) most recently in the last few weeks. I have always read the Jessie Coulson translation but had heard great things about this relatively new Richard Pevear / Larissa Volokhonsky translation. There are other translations available, most notable the one by Constance Garnett which has been around pretty much forever.

It blows me away how much one translator is either adding to the text or another one is omitting. I’ll give you a few examples.

This is the first line of the novel:

CG: ON an exceptionally hot evening early in July a young man came out of the garret in which he lodged in S. Place and walked slowly, as though in hesitation, towards K. bridge.

JC: TOWARDS the end of a sultry afternoon early in July a young man came out of his little room in Stolyarny Lane and turned slowly and somewhat irresolutely in the direction of Kamenny Bridge.

P&V: AT THE BEGINNING of July, during an extremely hot spell, towards evening, a young man left the closet he rented from tenants in S____y Lane, walked out to the street, and slowly, as if indecisively, headed for the K_____n Bridge.

Nb. In Dostoevsky’s original text he only used the initial S. for the street name and K. for the bridge. An editor somewhere along the way substituted with the actual names. The bridge ought to be the Kokushkin Bridge and not the Kameny Bridge but the editor messed that up. The Coulson translation uses the names substituted by the editor. Garnett sticks to the original. P&V go for first and last initials but use the correct bridge.

Garnett seems to give a pretty straightforward translation. She calls Raskolinkov’s room a ‘garret’, which basically describes what it really is – a small room just under the roof. Coulson employs slightly more elaborate English (sultry, irresolutely) but simply calls the room a ‘little room’. Pevear and Volokhonsky seem to stretch out the sentence as far as they can. ‘early in July’ becomes ‘At the beginning of July’; ‘a sultry afternoon’ or ‘exceptionally hot evening’ becomes ‘during an extremely hot spell, towards evening’. They call the room ‘the closet he rented from tenants’ which I think would confuse the bejeezus out of anyone who has not previously read the novel.

So far I’m happy with my old Coulson. A couple paragraphs in we get another short, one line paragraph:

CG: This evening, however, on coming out into the street, he became acutely aware of his fears.

JC: This time, however, he reached the street feeling astonished at the intensity of his fear of his landlady.

P&V: This time, however, as he walked out to the street, even he was struck by his fear of meeting his creditor.

Garnett is again concise in her wording and even leaves it to the reader to infer from the preceding two paragraphs that Raskolinkov’s fears relate to the landlady. Coulson again goes for slightly more descriptive language but makes sure you know what exactly the fear is about. P&V seem to make a bollocks of it again. “even he was struck by his fear of meeting his creditor” would make more sense contextually, and simply read better as, ‘he was struck by fear of meeting his landlady’, dropping the words ‘even’ and ‘his’ and substituting ‘landlady’ for creditor.

Still happy with Coulson and starting to take a dislike to Pevear and Volokhonsky. Moving into Chapter 2 where Raskolinkov meets up with Marmeladov we get a monologue which is where Dostoevsky really shines:

CG: “Such is my fate! Do you know, sir, do you know, I have sold her very stockings for drink? Not her shoes—that would be more or less in the order of things, but her stockings, her stockings I have sold for drink! Her mohair shawl I sold for drink, a present to her long ago, her own property, not mine; and we live in a cold room and she caught cold this winter and has begun coughing and spitting blood too. We have three little children and Katerina Ivanovna is at work from morning till night; she is scrubbing and cleaning and washing the children, for she’s been used to cleanliness from a child. But her chest is weak and she has a tendency to consumption and I feel it! Do you suppose I don’t feel it? And the more I drink the more I feel it. That’s why I drink too. I try to find sympathy and feeling in drink.… I drink so that I may suffer twice as much!” And as though in despair he laid his head down on the table.

JC: ‘Yes, such is my character! Do you know, do you know, sir, that I have drunk her very stockings? Not her shoes, for that might have some small resemblance to a natural action, but her stockings, I have drunk even her stockings, sir! And I have drunk her mohair shawl as well, and it was her own, a gift made to her in the old days, not mine; and the room where we live is cold, and this winter she caught a chill and began to cough and even to spit blood. We have three small children and Katerina Ivanovna is working from morning till night, scrubbing and washing and bathing the children, for she has been accustomed to cleanliness from a child; but her chest is weak and she has a consumptive tendency, and I feel it. Could I fail to feel it? The more I drink, the more deeply I feel it. That indeed is why I drink, to find compassion and feelings in drink… I drink because I wish to multiply my sufferings!’ And in apparent despair he laid his head on the table.

P&V: “Such is my trait! Do you know, do you know, sir, that I even drank up her stockings? Not her shoes, sir, for that would at least somehow resemble the order of things, but her stockings, I drank up her stockings, sir! Her angora kerchief I also drank up --- a gift, a former one, hers, not mine; and our corner is cold, and this winter she caught a chill and took to coughing, with blood now. And we have three small children, and Katerina Ivanovna works day and night, scrubbing and cleaning and washing the children, for she has been used to cleanliness since childhood, and has a weak chest and is inclined to consumption, and I feel it. Do I not feel it? And the more I drink, the more I feel it. It is for this I drink, that in drinking I may seek compassion and feeling. It is not joy I seek, but sorrow only… I drink, for I wish doubly to suffer!” And he bent his head to the table in despair.

This is the happy part. It’s hard to go wrong with any of these translations. If anything the P&V finishes the best with the economically simple, ‘And he bent his head to the table in despair.’ P&V do add in the line ‘It is not joy I seek, but sorrow only’ that neither of the other two refer to at all, but it seems to go with the flow of the monologue. It is interesting though, how differently all three start the paragraph – fate, character and trait. Character and trait are most alike and if we go with majority rule and assume they have translated better, then probably Coulson’s ‘character’ is the more apt noun.

Despite early misgivings I will continue to read P&V’s entire translation. I think I can get used to it. But really it’s just made me wish all the more that I actually could read Russian.