Pledging a fraternity (Long)

[Cueballmania]

In January, I started pledging at Sigma Chi at my school. I choose to pledge here because I was told of all of the brotherhood present among the fraternity. I didn't want to join anywhere that would just be a place to drink, so the brotherhood and the other things that the fraternity does really appealed to me. They also had a strict no hazing policy, which was icing on the cake.

Sigma Chi has certain standards that they expect from every member, which is perfectly reasonable. I went in feeling like I'm a good guy and just try to blend right in with the guys. I thought to just be myself and I'd be fine. Fast forward to last week, there was a situation where at their chapter meeting (only for actives) where they called me out on not living up to the line "A congenial disposition." Apparently some people in the house had a problem with me holding my own by not taking [censored] from some other guys and the fact that I some of my inquires come off cold. This totally pissed me off, not because that it happened, but the fact that none of the people who had a problem with me approached me about it. They circumvented me and went to the other guys. One of the traits Sigma Chi is known for is justice. For me, going around to other people and taking the first step to kicking me out of the pledge process isn't just.

After this occurred, I reflected upon the house. I recalled that every weekend, there was nothing but drinking. No volunteer events or social events (non-parties). So, basically it has been a place to drink on the weekend. I've talked to a few of the guys and they admit that it's the house's fault for not getting things done. I was told that it will get better after spring break and next fall. As an added concern, only about 3/4 of the active members actually stay involved in the meetings and events.

Another issue I have is that it's a Christian founded
fraternity. I'm atheist, so this sucks. One of the lines during initiation is the question: Do you believe in a higher power? Since this fraternity was founded on Christian ideals in the mid 1800s, I fully believe that founders wanted this to mean God. I can find other interpretations to "higher power" that I can believe in (morality, science, time, etc). But it kind of feels like it's cheating.

As a positive, I've made some really great friends there. I've enjoyed the company of the vast majority of the people there. I like the ideals the fraternity stands for. I was assured from many people that fully expect me to be a strong voice in the house due to my strong personality. The fact that I can make a difference makes me want to stick through this and prove them right.

Please post any thoughts.