French people tried to kick me out of their club, Paris trip report

[wtfsvi]

I took my girlfriend to Paris for the weekend for her 18th birthday. I reserved the trip before I got robusto, so I ordered the cheapest hotel I could find that was centrally located. I will not do that again. Squeezed between strip clubs and brothels, new dirty towels (seriously) every day, the same dirty sheets and blankets the whole stay, and worst (for me) the promised wifi does not work [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

A busto hotel is not the end of the world, though. We had a good time. Disneyland on friday. Lines were not as bad as I had feared, but it didn't matter because the rides were no fun. I had expected that obviously, but had hoped there was at least one that would have a good amount of acceleration. But my girlfriend liked it, and the trip was for her after all. I bought her a pink minnie mouse blanket. From then on we could sleep and sex in the bed without it being totally gross. Think picture with the dogs and the puking.

Saturday - standard tourist behaviour. Looked at the arc de triumph and the eiffel tower and bought ridiculously expensive things from fashion stores.

Sunday - We have tickets for the Moulin Rouge at 11pm. The theater is located in the sketchy part of town, so only 5 minutes to walk from our hotel. During the day we walk down Champs Elysees and I suddenly notice that I'm standing right next to the Aviation Club. I had not intended to play poker during this stay, but recent reading on 2+2 about the soft games in Paris and this little coincidence makes me go over and ask the bouncer about dress codes, just in case I get a chance to come back in the evening/night. He says I can't come in because my shoes are ugly. Fine. I go across the street and buy a nice pair of shoes for €400.

Now my mind is working on how I can get to play some poker. The shuttle from our hotel leaves at 5am monday morning, so I could possibly get in a little over two hours between when the show is finished and my girlfriend goes to sleep (around 2am), and when I have to take a taxi back to the hotel. Two hours is not enough, though, so just as we are about to get seated for the Moulin Rouge I manage to persuade my girlfriend to leave. I tell her it sucks that the show is in french and that it lasts two and a half hour, and that dancing ladies are generally very boring stuff. I think all of this is true, and I was relieved when I didn't have to sit through it, but my girlfriend knows my agenda and I'm not feeling proud of myself as we walk out. The final argument that tipped the scale was that if she wanted to leave I would buy her something else for the €150 the tickets cost, so that made me feel a little less like a d-bag. I still feel like one, though and I buy her some overprized roses from a guy right outside the theater.

Back at the hotel around 11:30. We are far from finished packing, and my girlfriend is very tired and I think quite bummed that she didn't get to see the show. I agree to let her go to sleep now and that I will come back at 4am to pack all our things before I wake her. Now straight to the aviation club.

I was sure I had brought a nice shirt, but as I ever more desperately search through my bag, I realize I haven't. I head to the aviation club dressed in very nice shoes, pants and belt, and a white t-shirt that is not even 100% clean. I'm worried. As I walk in, the guy that is supposed to take my passport/register me tells me I can't go in dressed like that. I'm not happy. I smile at him and tell him I have really nice shoes. I think he can see how sad I am, and he says he will make an exception for me just for tonight. Ok good. There are aveilable seats in both €2-2NL and 2-4NL holdem, I go to the cashier and try to get €500 to play 2-4. Credit card declined. I'm having a lot of trouble with my credit card, it sucks. I tell the cashier to try €300 and she looks at me painfully and says "no, it will be better if you just leave". These french people sure are eager to get rid of me. I feel really embarrassed and am quick to pull out the €200 in cash I have in my pocket and get a seat in the 2-2 game. I sit as far away from smokers as I can, but the smoking still sucks. Smoking allowed is the worst part of the club by far.

The players are really awful and passive, which is good. But everyone buys in short (between the €30 minimum and €100 generally), which is bad. They were willing to bust fast and rebuy a bunch of times, though. The language issue is not a problem. The dealer is helpful and I quickly learn the important words (the low even numbers, the words for call and fold).

Most interesting hand of the night, I am not involved: Huge LAG and short stack that seems to suck less than the other players get it in on a 2xxx turn with two hearts. Short stack has 22 and LAG has 2h6h. LAG sighs as the cards are turned over. The river bricks and dealer shoves LAG the pot. Short stack mucks. The table breaks out in a huge argument (that I don't understand because it is in french like everything else). Me, shortstack and LAG are the only ones that don't participate. After a good 5 minutes the argument dies down, the play resumes and LAG still has the pot. Weird stuff.

I run good and I don't lose a single showdown after putting money in postflop. I pick up and leave after three and a half hour with a €460 profit. Payed for my shoes and taxi and still €40 left over. Not bad.

Back home in Norway 12 hours later. Next trip is Las Vegas and Boston in 4 days. I am such a baller, I will fail all my exams this year.