Anxiety of losing/anxiety during hand gets worse during career

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I feel this anxiety causes me to subconsciously nit it up, and reduce my variance but reducing my winrate.

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Nothing wrong with reducing your winrate if you reduce your variance. Think of it like investing, stocks have higher expected return than the money market, but have higher risk. Play to your appropriate risk/return range. If your not comfortable playing a high variance loose style, don't.