Andy Samberg gives me words to express how I feel

[gumpzilla]

I'm sure you've seen this by now, but just in case. It popped into my head pretty quickly after this hand.

PokerStars No-Limit Hold'em, $0.50 BB (6 handed) Hand History Converter Tool from FlopTurnRiver.com (Format: 2+2 Forums)

CO ($67.40)
Button ($119.55)
SB ($22.55)
BB ($16.05)
Hero ($49.25)
MP ($49.25)

Step 1: Cut a hole in the box.

Preflop: Hero is UTG with Q[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img], Q[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img].
<font color="#CC3333">Hero raises to $2</font>, <font color="#666666">1 fold</font>, <font color="#CC3333">CO raises to $7</font>, Button calls $7, <font color="#666666">2 folds</font>, Hero calls $5.

Step 2: Put your junk in that box.

Flop: ($21.75) Q[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img], 9[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img], A[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] <font color="#0000FF">(3 players)</font>
Hero checks, <font color="#CC3333">CO bets $60.4 (All-In)</font>,

Step 3: Make her open the box.

Button folds, Hero calls $42.25 (All-In).

Turn: ($124.40) J[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] <font color="#0000FF">(2 players, 2 all-in)</font>

River: ($124.40) J[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] <font color="#0000FF">(2 players, 2 all-in)</font>

And that's the way you do it . . .
Results:
Hero has Qh Qs (full house, queens full of jacks).
CO has As Ad (full house, aces full of jacks).

. . . it's a dick in a box!

The same guy flopped a set against my AA 20 hands later; the song was equipped to handle that as well.

Christmas . . . a dick in a box.
Hanukkah . . . a dick in a box.
Kwanzaa . . . a dick in a box.
Every single holiday a dick in a box!