AlwaysAir: The Aftermath

[AlwaysAir]

I'm not very sure where to start - the only logical thing to do is start from the top. My name is Jason Lavallee, and I'm a poker player. Yup yup, that's my real name and I've been going through hell with this poker community thing for awhile - and I got sick of it.

It started off with a website thing (I'm too lazy/pissed to find the link to use the search button you lazy [censored]) - which I wasnt guilty in any way, maybe except me not taking into consideration that if I dont log on for 3 days ppl might start looking me up in the phonebook. Needless to say when I got back from my poker vacation, I had 81 emails regarding the subject (no exageration) and I had a lot of holes to patch up. I was suprised that JKRANTZ, the beloved coach and owner of 3-bet didn't defend me when I did actualy told him that I was leaving for awhile. So much for loyalty.

Another frustration came with 3-bet - the idea behind it: great but let's just say that our relashionship wasn't the best in the world. Mostly due to poor organisational skills or maybe just laziness, I often wasn't paid for 2 weeks and had to bring it up countless times - and of course wanting to get paid is something no one else wants but me.

[ Note: I never skimmed anything from the students you gave to me krantz, the DISCOUNED rates I was giving were to students that pmed me through sites or referrals hence I was freelancing, and you didnt have any [censored] thing to do with any $ I made off of it so back the [censored] off ]

So far, it was mostly a set of circumstances and being surrounded by idiots that lead to my downfall - everything past that I assume full responsability for. I was fed up, with life, poker, relashionships, and a few other issues that I discuss with ppl im a little more familiar with (That includes prop bets ppl dont fallow up on and shady rakeback [censored]). But without getting into too many details, I said [censored] it closed all my accounts, changed emails closed everything and left the community - which didn't really solve any of my frustrations.

Then I sign on AIM tonight, looking to pay back everyone I owed money to. Being pretty emotional it touched me when some of my students actualy offered some help and support vs the problems I was facing and I realised that I had to clear this up, not for anyone else but myself. A selfish quest one might say but I had to do it.

So am I an [censored]? Yes

Should I be forgiven? I probably wouldnt forgive myself

Am I going to hide switch SNs on everysite and stop coaching? No, I guess this is my way to man up and no run away from my problems.

Am I busto? No but close

To be honest, I feel like I'm rambling on for ages here and I'm really sure what I'm trying to accomplish, so maybe I can just answer some specifics you guys might have (if any).

I'd just like to end this by saying that I really dont have a "con" bone in my body, and I'm sorry everyone I hurt in the process and I hope you appreaciate my honesty.

And to the students who PMed me kind words today, I love you guys your the online reason I'm here.

AA