Am I just turning food into sh*t?

[JohnnyHumongous]

I'm having a lot of trouble finding meaning in my life. The commercialistic society we live in gives me little feeling of true purpose or fulfillment. I spend very little and spending money doesn't give me happiness like it does for many people I know. Right now I'm playing poker for a living and I do well at it, and it's mildly fulfilling in that I succeed at it and outplay most people yada yada yada. I go to the gym a fair bit and I'm trying to reach some weightlifting goals. I spend time with friends and family when I can and I travel a fair bit as well. For whatever reason, when I review these facts of my life, I get quite depressed. What's my life about? Not much as far as I can tell. Making money, keeping a social life and some exercise. But isn't that everyone's life more or less? If I was in consulting or finance or whatever it would be the same dilemma, just more hours in the office and less pay.

I can't be the only one feeling this way. So many people in society are on the same treadmill that many must feel the same odd sense of hopelessness. I look to the future and say, well if it's 30 more years of this this is stupid and pointless. Maybe I'm spoiled because thanks to poker I have more money than a 23 year old could possibly need and no family to support. The sad thing is I couldn't say off the top of my head what really compels me, what I would even be doing with my time if I wasn't a part of this cycle. When I was working I would have said poker was a passion of mine, well that's out as a fulfilling pastime now that's it's my job. Should I go back to school? Try to find some lifepath that is somehow deeply rewarding? Or just sit back and hope I find it in my travels...

Thanks for reading my ramblings, any thoughts and comments are greatly appreciated.