I need advice on achieving my goals wrt sexual intercourse

[jkamowitz]

Dear Madnack, I understand your troubles and have four words of advice: Don't worry about it. When my friends ask how I get/got/will get girls I tell them I dont know. Honestly, I never have a plan or a system or a line. First, what year are you? Honestly your situation sounds a little similar to mine.

I am currently a senior however entering college I was semi-experienced, as I had a 3-year relationship in high school, and a few things here and there but generally felt like I was out of my league. I wasn't into going to the bars, I suck at beer pong, and my interests (poker, religion, science, etc.) varied a lot from other people's. However, I found that if I could get a girl alone, take her out to dinner, and just talk to her, she would quickly realize that while going and meeting guys at bars is easy it is not fulfilling. Slowly I learned as I got older, that the most rewarding sex is not with some hot chick you picked up at a bar but with a girl who is intimate with you and you likewise with her.

My suggestion therefore is thus, let it go. Stop trying to get laid and start trying to find people with like interests. Look in your classes, ask a girl afterwards about something she said during class that you found interesting. Might sound cheesy but this way you at least get to talk with her about somethign you're interested in.

You sound like a nice, smart guy with a sense of self-deprecating humor. Talk about where you want to go and what you want to be. Every girl likes a guy who knows himself and it's important to project that confidence.

I hope everything works out.

I'll leave you with an anecdote about my housemate:
He plays acoustic guitar rather well and performs weekly at a caberet. It is quite obvious that his one intention is to pick up girls. A few weeks ago, a girl sent him a message on facebook after his show saying that she would love to hang out with him, and that she was not looking for a relationship only a good time. She came over, they banged and she left. He immediately came into my room to tell me about his conquest. He didn't seem happy only proud and when I asked if they were oging to start hanging out he didnt have much to say.

The other night she cancelled on him and it tore him to shreds.

Please, dont' be this guy.

Sure a lot of meaningless sex happens in college but dont' think that it has to be meaningless, you'll be a lot happier finding someone who pleases you mentally as well as physically.

good luck.

ps. dont mention the hot-or-not thing.