Need advice on buying a big screen TV.

[RedBean]

I haven't bought a television since about 1986, so needless to say I am about as clueless as a baby in a titty bar when it comes to all this new-fangled technology and whiz-bang electronical stuff they have on today's picture boxes.

I googled for some info on these new age TVs, and the websites I was sent to looked like dissertations written on chinese chemistry, so I need some simpletalk advice from OOTers on helping me buy a new TV.

Basically, I need to find the biggest, best TV I can get for under 5 dimes, and some sort of explanation on the benefits/drawbacks of all these different technologies and which in you guys opinions is best. (DLP, HDTV, PPO, HMO, S&M, NAMBLA....and all that jazz makes no sense to me...)

And it doesn't have to be 3 inches deep and hang on the wall or anything fancy, but I rather it not be like those older projection boxes that are 7 foot deep and require a small army to lift.