#1
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Grotesquely nerdy theatre geekery for DBZ
For DBZ and those who care a whit
I'll speak the reasons I am not a nit. To recap my distaste for Tom Stoppard: It's not so much that his text is real hard. You see, Bill Shakespere is often quite tough But rarely does he waste my mental stuff. To parse his meaning from anachronism Can often lead to sturm and drang. But if his use of language can be sick His words, when understood, cut to the quick. With fancy turns of phrase, Tom Obfuscates More subtle points than he elucidates. I think that I shall mark this speech as done. I hope it was received in due good fun. |
#2
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Re: Grotesquely nerdy theatre geekery for DBZ
I say shotgun
Because it is a lot of fun to post in threads before they are dead Please don't troll I'm on a roll What is with OP I'm the real OG Is it absurd I don't get a word? |
#3
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Re: Grotesquely nerdy theatre geekery for DBZ
Solid. B to B-. Meter needs a little work for A material.
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#4
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Re: Grotesquely nerdy theatre geekery for DBZ
visual rhyme is good, but learn how to pronounce stoppard
jk believe in jesus |
#5
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Re: Grotesquely nerdy theatre geekery for DBZ
I'm invoking the dramatic license defense. [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]
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#6
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Re: Grotesquely nerdy theatre geekery for DBZ
Wunderbar.
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#7
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Re: Grotesquely nerdy theatre geekery for DBZ
Rhyme scheme too standard imo, but the Volte is nice. Could have done with a lacuna to make it more clear, obv.
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#8
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Re: Grotesquely nerdy theatre geekery for DBZ
There once was a guy from Nantucket......
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#9
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Re: Grotesquely nerdy theatre geekery for DBZ
I'm a theatre nerd too, so I have to be picky here
5th line doesn't work-emphasis is on the "ften" part of often 8th line only has 4 feet-is this intentional? |
#10
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Re: Grotesquely nerdy theatre geekery for DBZ
Yes that is a deliberate break in both the meter and the rhyme scheme to emphasize the difficulty of parsing meaning and the impact of sturm and drang.
As for the other one, switch "often" and "is" for a more enjoyable experience. Other flaws include the emphasis landing on the 2nd syllable of Stoppard in line 3 I also find it almost impossible to spit out "text is" in line 4 without altering the meter. And of course the rhyme scheme is not exactly subtle. |
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