'Squeeze it HARDER!' or: Always pick the Black stripper

[Howard Beale]

So there I was at 9:30 last night at Casino Arizona's 20 HE game which had (incredibly) NO action. For those of you who haven't played there that is amazing for a Saturday night. After an hour of that I figured that I'd leave and come back later but there is absolutely nothing to do at CAZ while waiting around unless you want to go to the bar and drink and I don't normally drink because when I do it's always to get real drunk so I don't do it much.

Naturally, that meant I decided to go to the strip club. The problem with going to the strip club is that I sort of have the same problem with strippers that I do with drinking. There is no such thing as one. If I go to the strip club I'm going to get a bunch of strippers and that can run into some big spending especially at this place that has lounge type chairs against a wall where the lap dances are $20 instead of $10 in the regular chairs but they tell you that they get more 'intimate' in those chairs and I'm a sucker for more 'intimate'. Earlier in the day I'd thought of going to the Asian massage parlor and that costs $200 so I figured that since I was going to spend that money there I might as well spend it at the strip club. To tell you the truth, I didn't go to the massage parlor because at my age sex and poker are about a 50-50 choice and, frankly, poker is starting to pull ahead. Anyway, I go to the club and order a bottle of water and get lap dances from the very first girl that comes by w/o even checking out the other ones to see who might be best. I blow money on her and about 3 others before I'm approached by the Black stripper. For those of you who don't go to strip clubs I'll tell you that the most they ever have is 1 or 2 Black girls out of the 20 or so total. And they are ALWAYS called something like Ebony or Sapphire or India. My approach in strip club (when in control of myself) is to pick the less hot ones because they have to work harder for the money. Take my advice and skip the really hot ones. They just wiggle around and it's no fun but the not so hot ones have to keep you tantalized somehow and that means they go out of their way to keep you 'interested'. The thing about the Black strippers is that (no matter how hot they are) they must think that they're not so hot or that guys won't pick them (even though I see they're busy all the time) so it's always a good idea to get lap dances from them because not only can they be hot but they will give you the best lap dances.

On to last night's experience:

I get the Black stripper and the next thing I know she's lying on me like a wet blanket, pulls up my shirt and presses her chest into my ample stomach, is scratching my back and licking my ear. Then she tells me that I can touch her as long as the bouncer don't see and flips over to lay on me on her back. I start 'tickling' her back and legs but she grabs my hand and shoves it right down her panties and now I'm rubbing her ass when she demands that I 'squeeze it HARDER!' This was both good and bad. Stripper ass-squeezin: good. 5 lap dances at $20@: bad.

Still, Howard's (not my real name) advice for the day is:

Always pick the Black stripper.

[Mason Hellmuth]

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Still, Howard's (not my real name) advice for the day is:

Always bet on black.

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FYPLDO

[DeMaci]

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[ QUOTE ]
Still, Howard's (not my real name) advice for the day is:

Always bet on black.

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FYPLDO

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I bet $1000 on black today, I won. Always bet on Necro.

[React1oN]

This post is awesome

[AntonHeat]

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This post is awesome

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On so many levels [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

[g-bebe]

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This post is awesome

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[Bill Murphy]

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Always pick the Black stripper.

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[NT!]

looolllllllll i love this thread

[IggyWH]

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Always pick the Black stripper.

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Nice.

[TheGrasshopper]

Howard, my experiences with a black stripper has been exactly as you mentioned it. She definitely knew how to take care of the customer. The saying Once you go black, you don't go back is right on when it comes to strip clubs.