Film question: the best monologues

[daveT]

There are just certain monologues that are so difficult, that if I were an actor, I feel like I could walk in front of a casting director and just "nail it."

Seriously, I am not an actor (not by Hollywood standards, I did some stage and went on about fifteen auditions, had two feature roles and did a few stunts), but for kicks, I have tried out these monologues and pretty much flubbed them.

Glengary Glenross-

The one where Aleck Baldwin gives the speach. I can't do this without cracking up, and I can't come across convincing. "What's my name? **** you that's my name." Try nailing it, it's not easy.

Dr. Caligary-

Very tough on near the middle, guess could title "who am I?" Yes, it is said by a crazy guy, but it is said with so much meaning and once again, should be funny, but comes across as disgusting.

The Last Dragon-

Sho Nuff's first monologue. Okay, fine, not brilliant but funny that I can't wait to here the rest.

[SoloAJ]

In with the obligatory Independence Day speech!!!

I haven't tried reading these or anything, but I will mention some great monologues with reasoning.

On another note, I really like all of the monologues that Ray Liotta has in Field of Dreams. They're pretty moving for an avid baseball fan and, in general, his passion bleeds through. It is pretty nice.

And I suppose mentioning Field of Dreams I have to mention James Earl Jones speech. But the Shoeless Joe ones are underrated. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Annnnd finally, the director's commentary for Phone Booth says that he did the climactic monologue first take, live in front of a bunch of people. I know some who thought the speech (and movie) sucked, but I thought that was pretty amazing. I saw emotion, shrug.

[Stagger_Lee]

(Monty walks into the bathroom. He looks in the mirror. In the bottom corner, someone's written [censored] You!)
Monty: Yeah, [censored] you, too.
Monty's Reflection: [censored] me? [censored] you! [censored] you and this whole city and everyone in it.
[censored] the panhandlers, grubbing for money, and smiling at me behind my back.
[censored] squeegee men dirtying up the clean windshield of my car. Get a [censored] job!
[censored] the Sikhs and the Pakistanis bombing down the avenues in decrepit cabs, curry steaming out their pores and stinking up my day. Terrorists in [censored] training. Slow the [censored] down!
[censored] the Chelsea boys with their waxed chests and pumped up biceps. Going down on each other in my parks and on my piers, jingling their dicks on my Channel 35.
[censored] the Korean grocers with their pyramids of overpriced fruit and their tulips and roses wrapped in plastic. Ten years in the country, still no speaky English?
[censored] the Russians in Brighton Beach. Mobster thugs sitting in cafés, sipping tea in little glasses, sugar cubes between their teeth. Wheelin' and dealin' and schemin'. Go back where you [censored] came from!
[censored] the black-hatted Chassidim, strolling up and down 47th street in their dirty gabardine with their dandruff. Selling South African apartheid diamonds!
[censored] the Wall Street brokers. Self-styled masters of the universe. Michael Douglas, Gordon Gecko wannabe mother [censored], figuring out new ways to rob hard working people blind. Send those Enron [censored] to jail for [censored] life! You think Bush and Cheney didn't know about that [censored]? Give me a [censored] break! Tyco! Imclone! Adelphia! Worldcom!
[censored] the Puerto Ricans. 20 to a car, swelling up the welfare rolls, worst [censored]' parade in the city. And don't even get me started on the Dom-in-i-cans, because they make the Puerto Ricans look good.
[censored] the Bensonhurst Italians with their pomaded hair, their nylon warm-up suits, and their St. Anthony medallions. Swinging their, Jason Giambi, Louisville slugger, baseball bats, trying to audition for the Sopranos.
[censored] the Upper East Side wives with their Hermés scarves and their fifty-dollar Balducci artichokes. Overfed faces getting pulled and lifted and stretched, all taut and shiny. You're not fooling anybody, sweetheart!
[censored] the uptown brothers. They never pass the ball, they don't want to play defense, they take fives steps on every lay-up to the hoop. And then they want to turn around and blame everything on the white man. Slavery ended one hundred and thirty seven years ago. Move the [censored] on!
[censored] the corrupt cops with their anus violating plungers and their 41 shots, standing behind a blue wall of silence. You betray our trust!
[censored] the priests who put their hands down some innocent child's pants. [censored] the church that protects them, delivering us into evil. And while you're at it, [censored] JC! He got off easy! A day on the cross, a weekend in hell, and all the hallelujahs of the legioned angels for eternity! Try seven years in [censored] Otisville, Jay!
[censored] Osama bin Laden, al-Qaeda, and backward-ass, cave-dwelling, fundamentalist [censored] everywhere. On the names of innocent thousands murdered, I pray you spend the rest of eternity with your seventy-two whores roasting in a jet-fueled fire in hell. You towel headed camel jockeys can kiss my royal, Irish ass!
[censored] Jacob Elinski, whining malcontent.
[censored] Francis Xavier Slaughtery, my best friend, judging me while he stares at my girlfriend's ass.
[censored] Naturel Rivera. I gave her my trust and she stabbed me in the back. Sold me up the river. [censored] bitch.
[censored] my father with his endless grief, standing behind that bar. Sipping on club soda, selling whiskey to firemen and cheering the Bronx Bombers.
[censored] this whole city and everyone in it. From the row houses of Astoria to the penthouses on Park Avenue. From the projects in the Bronx to the lofts in Soho. From the tenements in Alphabet City to the brownstones in Park slope to the split levels in Staten Island. Let an earthquake crumble it. Let the fires rage. Let it burn to [censored] ash then let the waters rise and submerge this whole, rat-infested place.
Monty: No. No, [censored] you, Montgomery Brogan. You had it all and then you threw it away, you dumb [censored]!
(He takes a breath and tries to rub away the words.)

[ChipWrecked]

My first thought was George C. Scott's rendition of Patton's monologue in that masterpiece.

I'm afraid I have little more to offer other than the advice that if you haven't seen the widescreen version of 'Patton', you owe it to yourself to have a look. I would love to see this in a remastered home-theatre setting.

[govman6767]

Otis's speech in "The Last Starfighter" is a really gripping speech about how sometimes you have to do what's best for you.

Actually Centauri's speech while repairing his starcar was a good one too.

[Syberduh]

It's so hard to do a monologue that somebody else has already made famous in a movie. The temptation to immitate the famous actor can be overwhelming - and even well done mimicry is usually not all that interesting. Even if you do your own take on someone else's famous monologue, you're begging to be compared to a famous actor at his or her absolute best with the benefit of perfect lighting, sound, makeup and editing. Very rarely are you going to look good in comparison.

Anyway, Jack Nicholson's speech at the end of A Few Good Men is definitely a classic. So is Michael Douglas' "Greed is good" monologue in Wall Street. Half of Fight Club is internal monologue and it's all very well written.

[TalkingDonkey]

[ QUOTE ]
Anyway, Jack Nicholson's speech at the end of A Few Good Men is definitely a classic.

[/ QUOTE ]

First one I thought of when I looked at the thread title. How about Joe Pesci's in Goodfellas? "Am I a [censored] clown?"

[Barcalounger]

[ QUOTE ]
My first thought was George C. Scott's rendition of Patton's monologue in that masterpiece.

[/ QUOTE ]

[diebitter]

25th Hour, Independence Day, and Henry V are indeed terrific movie monologues. I'll add:

Blade Runner: 'I've seen things...'
Dracula (1931): 'Listen. The Children of the night...'
Delivered by Martin Landau playing Bela Lugosi in 'Ed Wood': 'Home? I have no home...'

Star Trek: First Contact: Picard delivering quotage from Moby Dick: "And he piled upon the whale's white hump, the sum of all the rage and hate felt by his whole race. If his chest had been a cannon, he would have shot his heart upon it. "


And from a DVD Club pick 'Naked', there's 2:

Johnny: Was I bored? No, I wasn't [censored]' bored. I'm never bored. That's the trouble with everybody - you're all so bored. You've had nature explained to you and you're bored with it, you've had the living body explained to you and you're bored with it, you've had the universe explained to you and you're bored with it, so now you want cheap thrills and, like, plenty of them, and it doesn't matter how tawdry or vacuous they are as long as it's new as long as it's new as long as it flashes and [censored]' bleeps in forty [censored]' different colors. So whatever else you can say about me, I'm not [censored]' bored.

And the one about barcodes and the bible - I can't find a monologue to quote.

[Coffee]

A very underrated monologue