BEAT: I suck at making friends (tl;dr) (x-posted in The Dorm)

[jaustin]

I'm a sophomore (undergrad) who just transferred to NYU from BU this semester, and I've found it basically impossible to meet new people. All of my classes are big lectures, so it's pretty hard to meet people in there. Also, coming in as a transfer Spring semester is even tougher than coming in as a transfer in the fall, b/c nobody is just starting out, it's not the same as the beginning of the year, etc. It's also just hard to make friends as a transfer in general, i.e. what am I supposed to say, "hey, i just met you, wanna chill? i don't know anybody here!!" I have a few friends from back home who go to school in NYC, but I think it's pretty stupid/unrealistic to assume that all of my college friends will be friends from my high school. NYU organizes some transfer student events, but it's all stupid stuff I don't want to go to like Broadway musicals, tapings of Good Morning America, etc.

I've tried joining facebook poker groups and stuff, but all of them seem lame (e.g. $5 buy in donkaments, ZOMG!!). Plus, I'm more of an artsy kid, so I'd probably make better friends with kids who are into film/music rather than just random poker players.

On top of all this, my ex-gf (we dated for 2 years in high school and then college) who goes here gave me an ultimatum a couple weeks ago: either we start tentatively dating again or she can't be friends with me because she still has feelings for me. I told her I don't think I wanna be in a relationship right now, so I hadn't talked to her in two weeks until today, when she tells me that she still doesn't wanna see me because she's just now starting to get over me. This bothers me a lot because we've been very close even since we broke up 8 months ago, and she's an amazing person and friend, I just don't know if I feel the same way about her that i used to.

Also, one person from home who I guess I consider a friend never answers my phone calls, nor do his friends who i became cool with by hanging out with him. So I guess they're ignoring me for some reason (i have no idea why) even though they all seemed to like me when ive chilled with them.

I was thinking about getting an apt. next year, but I decided to live on a special interest floor or w/e you call it (theme is Hip-Hop. minor brag: my school has a hip-hop themed floor) in hopes of meeting cool people next year. Still, this semester is going to suck ass if I don't meet anybody new.

I know this might belong in The Dorm, but since it's a huge beat I thought I'd post it here and x-post.

Sorry it's so long, this [censored] is just really getting me down.

Also, FWIW i'm a poli sci major and I'm into politics, indy film/music, and social issues-type stuff (lol idealistic liberals)

Any ideas, BBV4L?

[nath]

Best I can offer you is, start going to [censored] where the kind of people you want to meet hang out, and introduce yourself. Also, there's gotta be some sort of club or something with these people in it. I mean, finding other people into film at NYU CAN'T be that hard, can it?

[thedustbustr]

join clubs, extracurricular activities, habitat for humanities, service retreats

[Spota]

Get back with your ex GF for a few months. Go to bars, go out, whatever. Maybe you can meet some people that way.

"Plus, I'm more of an artsy kid, so I'd probably make better friends with kids who are into film/music rather than just random poker players"

Aren't you just a random poker player? Who's to say they dont have some of the same interests you do? If I was in your situation I would play in the $5 tourneys for a while. Worst case is you lose a few hours.

[jaustin]

Thanks, these sound like good ideas. I've been in the process of finding cool clubs/ student groups that i can join, so hopefuly that will pan out.

The other thing is, while I wouldn't say that I'm shy, I'm not the kinda person who can just walk up to a random group of strangers and start mingling. Beyond that, though, it's still hard to actually meet people to hang out with w/o coming off as incredibly desperate. IOW, I'm sure you'd think it would be weird if a random guy introduced himself to you at some event/meeting, talked to you for two minutes and then asked for your phone number to hang out sometime (you might suspect that he's teh ghey, or a loser, for instance).

[MasterLJ]

Travel Abroad. You will make life-long friends.

[thedustbustr]

i cant do that either. but in service retreats and the like, everybody is in the same situation, and they do ice breakers and [censored].

[thedustbustr]

and wtf. go to the microtournies ffs.

[acidca]

i'll be your friend. ever heard of the fairview?