Hitting on a friend

[Rogue5]

(Cliff Notes at bottom)

So I have this friend of mine, known her since grade school, became friends in late HS and in early college. She spent a year in Spain and then a year in Mexico, and we didn't really talk for like 2-3 years.

well I saw her over X-mas and now she's living down near Boston, so I asked her out to dinner, (ended up being lunch) and I don't know what changed, but I found I'm really into her.

I have always gotten the impression she might be into me, but never investigated it thoroughly.

During the conversation today she mentioned she didn't have a boyfriend (all her, I did not bring it up), talked about Valentines day (claims she thinks it's a stupid holiday), and then we went into a flower shop and she went on about how she loves flowers and loves giving/receiving them.

So my play (and mind you I have no game) is to get her flowers (wants an orchid) for the day after V-day, and ask her out sometime next weekend. (seems pretty standard)

BUT, my main concern here is that if I was wrong and she's not interested (she is kind of a flirtatious and friendly girl) I don't want to mess up the friendship and creep her out. At the same time, however, I want to make it clear I'm looking to be more than a friend.



Anyone else have any luck making the transition from friend to boyfriend?


Cliff Notes:
what's the best way to ask out a long time friend without creeping her out?


oh, and I know it's lame to ask this stuff here, but whatever, Dr Phil isn't returning my calls.

[Sykes]

I'm going to say this once:

You cannot be a friend and a boyfriend, it's either one or the other.

If you're friend going to boyfriend, and it works and the relationship doesn't end in marriage, good luck reclaiming friendship.

And if your "moves" don't work, good luck on staying friends.

[PokerFink]

[ QUOTE ]
If you're friend going to boyfriend, and it works and the relationship doesn't end in marriage, good luck reclaiming friendship.

[/ QUOTE ]

That's true. But being rejected and staying friends is not hard. A little awkward at first, but no biggy.

[somapopper]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
If you're friend going to boyfriend, and it works and the relationship doesn't end in marriage, good luck reclaiming friendship.

[/ QUOTE ]

That's true. But being rejected and staying friends is not hard. A little awkward at first, but no biggy.

[/ QUOTE ]

Been there a couple times before and I agree. Anyway, if a girl isn't mature enough to get over the fact that you were interested in her, losing her friendship isn't really a tragedy.

[siccjay]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
If you're friend going to boyfriend, and it works and the relationship doesn't end in marriage, good luck reclaiming friendship.

[/ QUOTE ]

That's true. But being rejected and staying friends is not hard. A little awkward at first, but no biggy.

[/ QUOTE ]

Why in the world would you want to stay friends? You will just want her knowing she doesn't want you. Don't lie to yourself and act like you really just wanna be her friend.

[PokerFink]

[ QUOTE ]
Why in the world would you want to stay friends? You will just want her knowing she doesn't want you.

[/ QUOTE ]

And that can be painful.

[ QUOTE ]
Don't lie to yourself and act like you really just wanna be her friend.

[/ QUOTE ]

One of my best girl-friends is someone who I desperately want, and have for a while. But she's also a blast to be around, and never rubs it in. I have a great time with her, and that's worth the pain that my feelings are unrequited.

And let's be honest, I'm still hoping things will turn around, but it's pretty bleak.

[siccjay]

PokerFink,

How old are you?

[somapopper]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
If you're friend going to boyfriend, and it works and the relationship doesn't end in marriage, good luck reclaiming friendship.

[/ QUOTE ]

That's true. But being rejected and staying friends is not hard. A little awkward at first, but no biggy.

[/ QUOTE ]

Why in the world would you want to stay friends? You will just want her knowing she doesn't want you. Don't lie to yourself and act like you really just wanna be her friend.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think there's a faulty assumption in there. If somebody's not interested in me, I usually stop being interested in them.

If you were in love with the object of your affection, I see your point, but assuming you're not, why is the fact that you attempted to put the moves on her and failed a big issue?

[TIEdup14]

[ QUOTE ]
for the day after V-day

[/ QUOTE ]

I dont know anything about women but I know this is a very VERY bad idea

[Johnny Drama]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
for the day after V-day

[/ QUOTE ]

I dont know anything about women but I know this is a very VERY bad idea

[/ QUOTE ]
QFT