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#1
12-27-2006, 01:03 PM
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Her parents disapprove, what\'s your play?
Let's say you've been dating a girl seriously for a while now, you both love each other dearly and are ready to settle down. You both come from a conservative ethnic background (Korean, if it matters). She's finally met your parents and all's well with them. But then you discover her parents disapprove of you and your family and refuse to meet you. The reasons are that you were once previously engaged to another woman 7 years ago (you told your gf about this early on, but her parents found out through the grapevine) and your parents come from a lesser background than hers (your dad is an Ivy League-educated professor and your mom is a physician; her dad is a CEO and has a net worth at least an order of magnitude more than your family's). You graduated from an Ivy League college and an Ivy League law school and make a comfortable six figures. She's absolutely distraught over her parents' disapproval, and it's not clear what will happen to your relationship if you don't win them over. Her dad is especially stubborn. If you get the chance to meet her folks, what do you say to them?
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#2
12-27-2006, 01:09 PM
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Re: Her parents disapprove, what\'s your play?
[ QUOTE ]
If you get the chance to meet her folks, what do you say to them? [/ QUOTE ] "At least I'm not Chinese." <font color="white">Good friend is Chinese married to Korean woman whose family was not too happy about it. Plus, her older sister did manage to snare the Harvard-educated investment banker, so it was just one more strike against him.</font>
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#5
12-27-2006, 01:13 PM
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Re: Her parents disapprove, what\'s your play?
In all seriousness, if you have a chance to meet, stress to them that you value the same things they do (family, education, tradition) and that you will strive for success in your career to provide the best home possible.
Treat the prior engagement like you would the question of "why did you leave your last job" on an interview. Step around it as much as possible, and no bad-mouthing.
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#6
12-27-2006, 01:54 PM
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Re: Her parents disapprove, what\'s your play?
[ QUOTE ]
stress to them that you value the same things they do (family, education, tradition) [/ QUOTE ] They obviously don't value education. They value status. Also, he doesn't owe them an explanation as to why he is worthy of their daughter. They are clearly narrow-minded pricks who aren't even capable of participating in a rational conversation.
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#7
12-27-2006, 02:14 PM
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Re: Her parents disapprove, what\'s your play?
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] stress to them that you value the same things they do (family, education, tradition) [/ QUOTE ] They obviously don't value education. They value status. [/ QUOTE ] Well of course, but it's unlikely they would want to admit that. And stressing that he has the education and all the rest forces them to do just that, without saying as much. [ QUOTE ] Also, he doesn't owe them an explanation as to why he is worthy of their daughter. They are clearly narrow-minded pricks who aren't even capable of participating in a rational conversation. [/ QUOTE ] Your Dale Carnegie game is on fire.
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#8
12-27-2006, 02:17 PM
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Re: Her parents disapprove, what\'s your play?
Personally, I think you need to interact with them regularly and try to win them over. However, between your gf and yourself, I think you should fully expect the possibility that they may never come around and considering marrying in spite of it. I somehow doubt that they will continue to be peeved indefinately, particularly when they start having grandchildren from the union. These people are suckers for grandchildern!
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#9
12-27-2006, 03:13 PM
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Re: Her parents disapprove, what\'s your play?
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] Also, he doesn't owe them an explanation as to why he is worthy of their daughter. They are clearly narrow-minded pricks who aren't even capable of participating in a rational conversation. [/ QUOTE ] Your Dale Carnegie game is on fire. [/ QUOTE ] I'm too dumb to get this reference, but are you saying that he should try to convince people with backwards priorities that he is worthy?
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