OOT friday lunch menu

[naMruM]

I'm sitting here enthralled by OOT and Guinness. And maybe some soft 20/40 games too. But I realize I need to whiz. So...

What's the worst "I have to go" story you've got. I'll start.

Driving between T.O. and Manhattan to move out of my apt in NYC, I missed three successive bathroom exits and couldn't even find an emergency pull off. There's like a 20 mile stretch somewhere on that freeway and I timed it horribly. The apple juice bottle was not nearly big enough. Not-tainted-by-alcohol whiz all over the floor of my Sequoia.

I learned my lesson in a freaky way. When I play poker on-line, I routinely keep a large plastic coke bottle nearby. I'm not alone, either.

[P Chippa]

I drank a 40 in the back seat on the way to Canada. Then I filled up the empty bottle in the back seat on the way to Canada.

[sekrah]

The worst EVER for me was when I was sitting in a traffic jam in Pittsburgh for atleast an hour and a half while heading to visit my now ex-fiancee at Pitt.

It was the most intense urinary pain I've ever had by far, and I'm convinced there was some damage to my kidneys because of it.

But when I finally got into Oakland, raced up the towers (her dorm), ran in the bathroom, it was the greatest thing next to an orgasm that I've ever had!

[baumer]

I saw the first two LOTR movies in theatres, fell asleep during both. Still had high expectations for the third one.

So, I must have had a lot to drink before going to the movies, but me and my buddies got there just as the movie was starting. About 10 minutes into the movie my body is telling me I'm gonna have to make a decision in the near future.

I could go to the washroom, possibly missing an awesome scene of the movie, or I could hold it. Of course, I didn't wanna miss anything because I had very high hopes for the movie.

So, anyway, I had to piss so bad by the time the "ending" sequence started, I could barely move without it hurting. The goddamn movie just kept ending over and over again, going over every last detail, every single stupid character.

Finally it ended and I made my way to the washroom, where I stood in front of the urinal and relief of unprecendented proportion was awarded to me.

I learned my lesson though, I don't [censored] around like that anymore.

[LionelHutz00]

Chargers-Raiders game in 2000. I had like 4 beers in the parking lot. Went to the port-a-potty and the line was too long, so I figured I'd wait until I got into the stadium. In the stadium, once again the line was long and I decided to hold it. In the meantime I drank 2 more beers. When I finally got to the bathroom at halftime, I could not for the life of me get it flowing. Went back to my seat for the 3rd quarter. Ended up staying for the whole game without going. Then it took us about an hour to get out of the parking lot. Finally we stopped at an In-n-Out on the way home. I could barely walk to the bathroom. Pissed for at least 3 minutes straight.

[jaffa]

[ QUOTE ]
I saw the first two LOTR movies in theatres, fell asleep during both. Still had high expectations for the third one.

So, I must have had a lot to drink before going to the movies, but me and my buddies got there just as the movie was starting. About 10 minutes into the movie my body is telling me I'm gonna have to make a decision in the near future.

I could go to the washroom, possibly missing an awesome scene of the movie, or I could hold it. Of course, I didn't wanna miss anything because I had very high hopes for the movie.

So, anyway, I had to piss so bad by the time the "ending" sequence started, I could barely move without it hurting. The goddamn movie just kept ending over and over again, going over every last detail, every single stupid character.

Finally it ended and I made my way to the washroom, where I stood in front of the urinal and relief of unprecendented proportion was awarded to me.

I learned my lesson though, I don't [censored] around like that anymore.

[/ QUOTE ]

Hahaha, reading that brings back memories. I pretty much went through exactly the same thing.

[Slim Pickens]

Chargers won the AFC championship game 10-6, the president was the devine Ms. Sandra Bernhardt, and the year was...

Oh man. I still remember that.

[kazana]

School exchange trip to France, 1993.
Had a bustrip to see some BS landmark, bought a 2l coke, downed it, got on the bus, and mofo of a bus driver refused to stop even though the toilet on the bus was broken and therefore locked. Didn't get any support from my teachers, either (I still hate them for that).

I had to hold it for 2 hours (I was about to let it flow all over the bus driver - payback) until we got back to the french school where I probably broke two world records:
One for the fastest 200m sprint ever, and another one for the longest piss in history of mankind.
I remember two other students, successively strolling in casually, taking a whizz and finishing up way before me.

[Hopey]

Back when I was in school, a bunch of us had gone out for beer after a Friday afternoon mid-term. When I left the bar to go back to my car, I realized that I had to piss incredibly bad. I thought about going back to the bar, but then decided that I could probably survive the 20 minute drive home.

Well, about 10 minutes into my 20 minute drive, I hit complete gridlock on the highway. There was a bad accident up ahead, and everyone was at a dead stop. I was nearly bursting and didn't have anything in the car to pee into. Worse yet, there was no shoulder on the highway to pull off onto, and I was in the middle of the city, so there was no trees next to the highway.

I finally said '[censored] it' and got out of my car and peed against the median. I distinctly remember looking up and watching a woman cover her daughter's eyes as I unloaded gallon after gallon of urine onto the road.

[deucedeuce00]

[ QUOTE ]
I distinctly remember looking up and watching a woman cover her daughter's eyes as I unloaded gallon after gallon of urine onto the road.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is by far the winner. I LOL'd long time.