Callling the cops on your neighbors - My Story

[MaxPower]

In the other thread regarding the horn honking incident a lot of posters were saying that you shouldn't get the cops involved in disputes with your neighbors. It reminded me of a time when I did.

I live in small apartment building with 4 apartments, 2 on each floor. The woman who lives across the hall from me is from Turkey. She is in her 30s and is a lawyer. Occasionaly her mother comes to visit and stays with her for a while. The mother is always very nice to me, but I can tell that she is crazy and very domineering.

One day I come home on a weekend afternoon and I hear them arguing and screaming at each other in Turkish. So I went into my apartment and hoped that the arguing would stop soon. They were very loud. It kept going on for hours. A few times I opened my door and walked up on and down the stairs in the hope that they would hear me and realize how much they were disturbing everyone in the building.

After about 4 or 5 hours of listening to this I started to hear the sound of things breaking and screaming. I was worried that they were going to hurt each other. I thought about knocking on their door, but I really didn't feel like I was qualified to deal with this.

So after a lot of deliberation, I decided to call 911. After I made the call, I walked outside and through the door told them that I had called 911 and they should probably calm themselves down before the police arrive.

Then I went back into my apartment and waited. The arguing stopped soon after. About half and hour later the police arrived and the girl and her mother had left by that time. The police asked me a few question and then left.

Since then, I have seem the girl and her mother many times and they are still very nice to me. I don't think they resent what I did at all. I probably did them a favor.

My point is that when you think someone might be in imminent danger it is a good idea to call the police. Some of you may think I over-reacted and that there is no way they were going to hurt each other. I'd rather take the chance of being wrong, than sit idly by while someone is hurt.

Now you can tell me how horrible I am.

[punkass]

Better plays IMO:

1) knock on their door to show your concern since you heard stuff breaking. Who knows...a burglar or something might be there.

2) knock on their door and tell them you are going to call the police if they don't keep it down. Give them a chance to be quiet.

3) knock on their door and tell them you called the police, but you really haven't. If the noise continues, then you can call the police.

I think these actions would be better than your passive/aggressive "walking up and down the stairs to show frustration" and calling the cops before letting them know.

[El Diablo]

Max,

LOL, white people.

[illeagle]

Why do people always knock being passive aggressive? I think it's the best mode to teach people lessons.

[funkymunky]

[ QUOTE ]
Why do people always knock being passive aggressive? I think it's the best mode to teach people lessons.

[/ QUOTE ]

You may be right, but passive-aggressiveness sucks ass.

[FishSticks]

Max,

Being concerned about a family dispute that is escalating into smashing things isn't weaksauce or weird, and I was totally against cop calling in the other thread. Plus, you told them face to face you had called the cops. The stairs bit is questionable at worst, but this story seems reasonable to me, at least.

[NT!]

[ QUOTE ]
Why do people always knock being passive aggressive? I think it's the best mode to teach people lessons.

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't know about you but I don't really go around trying to teach everyone a lesson. I like to make sure I get what I need and want in an assertive way and let everything else slide. Call me crazy.

Max: I don't think there's anything terribly wrong with calling the cops in this case. They are trained to resolve these kinds of disputes and you're not. You felt there was some kind of danger.

Personally, I may or may not have knocked on the door to see if I could settle things down myself. It's a hard situation. I guess it would depend on my relationship with the people in question.

Two very different situations in this thread and the other one.

I have only called the cops once, and it was to report that my truck was broken into. Lot of good that did me.

NT

[MaxPower]

I agree that they are different situations and I generally think that just talking to horn honker is fine. However, I think getting the cops involved is acceptable if you perceive that it might be risky to handle it yourself. I have had people get out of the their cars, yell at me, and try to start something for now good reason.

There are a lot of people who have problems with rage and will interpret the silghtest question as a threat.

[MaxPower]

[ QUOTE ]
Better plays IMO:

1) knock on their door to show your concern since you heard stuff breaking. Who knows...a burglar or something might be there.

2) knock on their door and tell them you are going to call the police if they don't keep it down. Give them a chance to be quiet.

3) knock on their door and tell them you called the police, but you really haven't. If the noise continues, then you can call the police.

I think these actions would be better than your passive/aggressive "walking up and down the stairs to show frustration" and calling the cops before letting them know.

[/ QUOTE ]

My concern was not with the noise. I was hoping that if they heard my door opening, the would become self-couscious and that might calm them down a little.

I was not calling the cops to make them stop arguing or making noise, I calling them because I didn't want the conflict to escalate and for someone to get hurt. It sounded like that might be happening.

If I was trained in conflict resoluation and I felt I could handle two hysterical women who have been arguing for hours, I would have gotten personally involved. But since I am not, I decided that the police could handle it better.

I considered every option available to me and it wasn't an easy decision to call 911, but I really felt that things were gettin out of hand.

[funkymunky]

Isn't the standard play here to open your door and manly shout "STFU!" at the top of your lungs?