Strange Female Observation

[James Boston]

OK. I'm not the biggest fan of girl-related posts, but I don't think this one has been done.

Have you ever been in a situation where a girl is sending pretty obvious signals that she's not interested in you, but won't come right out and say it, and keeps contacting you? This has happened to me more than once, and it perplexes me.

Example from several years ago: I go out with this girl I met at a party. We went to dinner, didn't really hit it off, no big deal. I still thought I'd see the date through to completion, so I offered to take her to a movie. She gives me some crap about having out-of-town company coming in a couple hours, which is a load of crap because no one schedules a date when they've got company coming. Then, she insists I come to her place the next night and we would rent a movie. Fine. She reiterates this no less than 6 more times through the course of dinner and me taking her home. The next night, she won't answer her phone. I didn't really dig this chick, so it was no big deal. But, what's the point?

If a chick isn't interested, and doesn't want to come right out and say it, no big deal. I can get the picture. Just don't waste my time with some contrived effort at seeming more interested than you are. I won't get my feelings hurt.

Has anyone noticed, and/or had any experience with this that could offer some sort of reasoning behind it.

[Slider]

James,

Maybe she doesn't want to hurt your feelings when she's right in front of you so she makes up an excuse like that?

Or hard to get syndrome.

[katyseagull]

[ QUOTE ]
She gives me some crap about having out-of-town company coming in a couple hours, which is a load of crap because no one schedules a date when they've got company coming.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wow that's pretty nervy. I think a lot of girls (myself included) have trouble being blunt with guys. We don't want to hurt your feelings. But the example above is just ridiculous. Makes me cringe.

[James Boston]

katy,

Perhaps you can shed some light. The point of my post wasn't the example, that was just to illustrate my point.

I get the not wanting to be blunt, not wanting to hurt feelings, and trying to avoid future dates via excuses. Thems the breaks, and I don't really have a problem with that.

The question at hand is this - why keep calling a guy, or make future plans with him, knowing you're not interested and will probably make up another excuse later?

[katyseagull]

[ QUOTE ]

The question at hand is this - why keep calling a guy, or make future plans with him, knowing you're not interested and will probably make up another excuse later?

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm not sure what's up with this JamesBoston. Are you saying these girls actually make serious plans for a future date and then make one lame excuse after another? If someone did that to me I'd be really pissed off.

The only thing I can think is that some girls like talking to a lot of different guys because they are bored out of their mind and it makes them feel better inside. It feeds their ego. It's rather high-schoolish.
They make future bogus dates in an effort to string these guys along, or because maybe they're giant flakes without an ounce of propriety, then they ditch them for someone else who seems cooler at the moment.

They're not thinking about the repercussions or the effect on the guy or if they are they just don't care; they're immature and completely self-absorbed.

[Anacardo]

Katy, coffee.

How's everybody doing tonight?

[katyseagull]

[ QUOTE ]
Katy, coffee.

How's everybody doing tonight?

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You want me to bring you coffee?

[hawk59]

James,

I'm sorry this is happening to you.

[Coffee]

[ QUOTE ]
OK. I'm not the biggest fan of girl-related posts, but I don't think this one has been done.

Have you ever been in a situation where a girl is sending pretty obvious signals that she's not interested in you, but won't come right out and say it, and keeps contacting you? This has happened to me more than once, and it perplexes me.

Example from several years ago: I go out with this girl I met at a party. We went to dinner, didn't really hit it off, no big deal. I still thought I'd see the date through to completion, so I offered to take her to a movie. She gives me some crap about having out-of-town company coming in a couple hours, which is a load of crap because no one schedules a date when they've got company coming. Then, she insists I come to her place the next night and we would rent a movie. Fine. She reiterates this no less than 6 more times through the course of dinner and me taking her home. The next night, she won't answer her phone. I didn't really dig this chick, so it was no big deal. But, what's the point?

If a chick isn't interested, and doesn't want to come right out and say it, no big deal. I can get the picture. Just don't waste my time with some contrived effort at seeming more interested than you are. I won't get my feelings hurt.

Has anyone noticed, and/or had any experience with this that could offer some sort of reasoning behind it.

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Two reasons:
1)The aforementioned not wanting to hurt feelings, but you're talking about something more than just ignoring the situation.
2)As Chris Rock said, because you never know. For whatever reason, it makes some girls feel better about themselves if they have a couple of guys in the periphery of their lives that, in an emergency, they could get with. It's not that she's attracted to you...it's just that it's good to have a spare of anything, just in case.

Your response: Tell her to get bent and RUN RUN RUN away.

[deucegame]

[ QUOTE ]
2)As Chris Rock said, because you never know. For whatever reason, it makes some girls feel better about themselves if they have a couple of guys in the periphery of their lives that, in an emergency, they could get with. It's not that she's attracted to you...it's just that it's good to have a spare of anything, just in case.

[/ QUOTE ]

QFMFT