OT: RANDOM MUSINGS FROM GOGGLES AT 8:14 AM.

[IWEARGOGGLES]

WELL, MY LANDLORD JUST RETURNED MY CALL FROM LAST NIGHT. HE IS SO SUPER AWESOME THAT HE CALLED ME AT 7:45AM! ONE WOULD THINK GOGGLES WOULD NEED SLEEP BECAUSE HE IS MOVING ALL OF HIS STUFF TODAY, BUT MY GOOD OL' LANDLORD WAS THERE TO RESCUE ME FROM LAZINESS. THANK THE VERIZON GODS FOR CALLER ID. MY CRUST-FILLED EYES GASPED WHEN I SAW IT WAS HIM. OF COURSE I DIDN'T [censored] PICK UP YOU NITS. I LISTENED TO THE VOICEMAIL AND WENT BACK TO BED. ALL HE SAID WAS THAT HE WAS RETURNING MY CALL AT 7:45AM BECAUSE I'M A LAZY BASTARD. GOOD THING HE CALLED AGAIN 2 MINUTES LATER TO TELL ME THE REFRIDGERATOR MAY OR MAY NOT BE THERE WHEN WE GET THERE LATER! IT WAS HONESTLY KEEPING ME UP ALL NIGHT WORRYING ABOUT THAT REFRIDGERATOR SINCE I DON'T EVEN LIVE IN THE [censored] PLACE YET. THANKS A LOT FOR THE CALLS MICHAEL DOUCHEBAG, I REALLY APPRECIATE IT. WHAT ELSE CAN I SAY ABOUT THIS WONDERFUL ESTABLISHMENT I'M RENTING OUT. OH YEAH, HOW ABOUT THE CRAZY CAT HIPPIE LADY THAT RENTED OUT BEFORE US. SHE MADE SURE EVERY [censored] THING WOULD BE COVERED IN NASTY CAT HAIR. OUR AWESOME LANDLORD SHOULD BE CLEANING AFTER THE DEAD CATS IN THE WALL RATHER THAN CALLING ME ABOUT REFRIDGERATORS AT 7:45AM ON A MONDAY. DOESN'T HE KNOW THE GAMES ON PARTY DON'T LOAD FAST ENOUGH ON MONDAY MORNINGS? MAYBE IF I WAS A NORSE VIKING OR SOMETHING I'D BE PLAYING. SO YAH CAT LADY GOT HAIR EVERYWHERE. WHO KNOWS, COULD BE HER HAIR. MY MOTHER SWEARS SHE USED THE CABINETS IN THE KITCHEN FOR LITTERBOXES. THERE ARE SCRATCH MARKS ON MY BEDROOM DOOR. THERE IS CAT HAIR IN THE WINDOW WELLS. THIS IS ALL AFTER OUR LANDLORDS SAID THE PLACE WAS CLEAN. THEY NEED TO GET SOME NEW GLASSES (OR GOGGLES----LOL!) SO THAT THEY CAN SEE IT IS CLEARLY NOT CLEAN. I CLEANED FOR 7 HOURS YESTERDAY AND GOT ABOUT HALF OF IT DONE. THAT IS OVER $1,000 SKLANSKY BUCKS I WAS NOT ABLE TO PUT IN THE BANK. AND OF COURSE COMCAST CAN'T COME UNTIL [censored] THURSDAY. THURSDAY! ANOTHER LATE-STARTING MONTH OF WORK FOR ME. OF COURSE AS WE'RE MOVING STUFF IN THERE ARE LIKE 6 COMCAST VEHICLES PARKED IN FRONT OF OUR HOUSE. THEY'RE ALL SITTING THERE EATING FATBOY DOUGHNUTS AND SAYING "YAH GOGGLES NO INTERNET FOR YOU." THE ONLY THING KEEPING ME SANE IS QDOBA.

LET'S GIVE YOU SOME POKER CONTENT SO I DON'T GET BANNED FOR THIS WORLD CLASS POST. YOU ALL PLAY TOO [censored] TIGHT. YOU FOLD WAY TOO MUCH. YOUR OPPONENTS ALMOST ALWAYS SUCK. WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT FOLDING KK PREFLOP IN A $22, YOU MAKE ME WANT TO CRY. STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT. YES, YOUR OPPONENTS WILL MINRAISE WITH KJo AFTER AN OPPONENT 5X RERAISES YOUR STANDARD 3BB RAISE. YES, YOUR OPPONENTS WILL CALL SHOVES WITH 78s JUST BECAUSE YOU PUSH TOO MUCH AND THEY WANTED TO TEACH YOU A LESSON. ANOTHER THING. ONE DAY, IF I EVER STOP BEING LAZY, I'M GOING TO MAKE A NICE LONG THREAD ABOUT FLOATING. I SWEAR IT IS THE BEST SNG MOVE IN THE WORLD. EVER. BETTER THAN RAYMER'S STOP 'N' GO. YOU GUYS DO THAT TOO MUCH JUST SO YOU CAN MAKE THREADS LIKE 'DO YOU LIKE THIS STOP 'N' GO?' AND 'WOULD GREG RAYMER APPROVE?' OR 'CAN I DIE IF GIGABET GIVES ME ACES PREFLOP AND PUTS A GUN TO MY HEAD?' LIKE I WAS SAYING, YOU FOLD TOO MUCH. AND TO ALL THE 109, 215, AND 530 SPEED REGULARS, YOU GUYS MAKE A LOT OF MISTAKES AND PLAY SUPOBTIMALLY JUST LIKE I DO, EXCEPT I WON'T TELL YOU WHAT YOU DO WRONG BECAUSE I THINK YOU HELP ME MAKE MONEY.

PLEASE STOP MAKING THREADS ABOUT THE FOLLOWING THINGS:

-WPR101 GETTING BANNED. IT WAS FUNNY AND I LOLED A LOT BUT STOP GIVING HIM ATTENTION IT ANNOYS ME.
-YOUR ROI AND IF IT IS SUSTAINABLE. IT ISN'T. YOU'RE PROBABLY A LOSING PLAYER ONCE YOU PLAY 1000 OF THESE THINGS.
-YOUR COMPUTER. WHO GIVES A [censored] WHAT KEYBOARD YOUR SCRAWNY LITTLE INTERNET FINGERS TYPE ON. MY KEYBOARD CAN'T TURN CAPS LOCK OFF SO WHAT WANNA FIGHT ABOUT IT?
-VEGAS. YEAH I GET IT YOU GUYS ARE THERE AND I'M NOT.
-COACHING. IT PISSED ME OFF SO MUCH WHEN THAT GUY MADE A THREAD ASKING HOW MUCH PEOPLE CHARGED FOR COACHING AND THEN SAID HE WASN'T LOOKING FOR A COACH. IT ALSO PISSED ME OFF BECAUSE A LOT OF BAD PLAYERS CHARGE A LOT OF MONEY FOR SUBPAR COACHING.
-WSOP. SO IT IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW. THERE IS A FORUM FOR IT. BIG DEAL.
-CITANUL BEING BITTER. HE IS A JOLLY FELLOW HE JUST HATES ALL OF YOU LIKE ME. WELL I ONLY HATE ABOUT 60% OF YOU.
-66S GETTING LAID. JUST COLLECTIVELY EITHER SUCK HIS DICK OR GET HIM A MEDAL. PICK ONE. CONGRATS BRO.
-STOP BEING SECRETIVE ABOUT YOUR PARTY NICKS. WHEN PEOPLE DON'T TELL ME WHAT THEIR NAME IS ON PARTY, I ASSUME IT IS BECAUSE THEY ARE EMBARASSED AT HOW BAD THEY ARE AT POKER. YOU'RE NOT DOING ANYTHING EXTRAORDINARY, TRUST ME. UNLESS GIGA IS HOLDING A GUN TO YOUR HEAD AND TELLING YOU TO FOLD ACES PREFLOP FOR METALIFEGAME, STOP BEING NITS.
-YAH PEOPLE PLAY SNGS FOR A LIVING BIG DEAL. PEOPLE ALSO SELL DRUGS (DRUG DEALERS) AND KILL PEOPLE (HITMEN) FOR A LIVING. IT ISN'T THAT BIG OF A DEAL.
-STOP ASKING IF TURBO OR SPEED SNGS ARE BEATABLE. PUT THAT [censored] IN THE FAQ I'M SICK OF SEEING IT ON THE FRONT PAGE.
-NO MORE POSTS ABOUT PARTY'S SOFTWARE BEING AWFUL. WE HAVE A FORUM DEDICATED TO THAT TOO (ALTHOUGH IT DOES [censored] SUCK!).
-I DO LIKE FT SWEAT THREADS THOUGH. I LIKE SEEING STTF MEMBERS MAKING THE REAL DOLLAS. MULTIS ARE KINDA FUN SOMETIMES.
-AND ASKING IF YOU SHOULD GET AN IPOD FROM POKERSTARS IS [censored] STUPID. IT IS FREE. JUST GET IT. I HEAR IT COMES WITH A FREE BANNER TO PUT ACROSS YOUR FRONT LAWN THAT SAYS 'WELCOME TO 2006 YOU TECHNOLOGICALLY DULL IDIOT!'
-I LIKE WHEN IRIEGUY POSTS RESPONSES TO HANDS. HE IS GOOD AT POKER.
-I LIKE WHEN BONES MAKES FUN OF PEOPLE. HE MAKES ME LAUGH. I WISH HE RAN BETTER. HE'LL WIN A WSOP EVENT, NO BIGGIE.

I'M [censored] SICK OF TYPING.

SIGNING OFF AT 8:40,

IWEARGOGGLES

[pergesu]

Okay I haven't read this yet, but if you're going to use "poignant" in a post then you need to spell it correctly.

[IWEARGOGGLES]

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT I SPELL EVERYTHING CORRECTLY AT 7:45 AM READ IT AGAIN!!!

EDITED FOR PAT FOR HUMOR.

[flyty86]

"signing off at 8:40"

posted - #6406754 - 07/03/06 8:43 AM
Edited by IWEARGOGGLES (07/03/06 8:44 AM)



btw, nice hand.

[pergesu]

Okay I read it all

[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]

WE WILL BE THE NUTS AT LIFE IN EXACTLY 3 WEEKS!!! [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

[IWEARGOGGLES]

[ QUOTE ]
Okay I read it all

[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]

WE WILL BE THE NUTS AT LIFE IN EXACTLY 3 WEEKS!!! [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

NOT UNLESS I RUN SICK GOOD STARTING THURSDAY. I DID, AFTER ALL, SPEND 30k CASH MONEY ON A CAR.

I SHOULD COME ANYWAYS HUH.

PLAY 500 GAMES BEFORE JULY 23rd AND JUST SAY [censored] IT I WANNA GO TO VEGAS.

TIME TO MOVE.

AND SO WHAT IF MY POST DOESN'T MAKE SENSE IT STILL HAS MORE CONTENT THAN 90% OF THE OTHER THREADS.

FLOATING IN 2K6,

IWEARGOGGLES

[psyduck]

POTD, STICKY FOR LIFE, YSSKYCY

[AnthonyV]

Hilarious.

Eagerly awaiting the CAPS-LOCK treatise on floating [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

[bluefeet]

[ QUOTE ]
Hilarious.

Eagerly awaiting the CAPS-LOCK treatise on floating [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]


"Well, I could be wrong, but I believe, uh, Treatise is an old, old wooden ship that was used during the Civil War era."

[meleader2]

[ QUOTE ]
...PLEASE STOP MAKING THREADS ABOUT THE FOLLOWING THINGS:


...-I DO LIKE FT SWEAT THREADS THOUGH. I LIKE SEEING STTF MEMBERS MAKING THE REAL DOLLAS. MULTIS ARE KINDA FUN SOMETIMES.
-I LIKE WHEN IRIEGUY POSTS RESPONSES TO HANDS. HE IS GOOD AT POKER.
-I LIKE WHEN BONES MAKES FUN OF PEOPLE. HE MAKES ME LAUGH. I WISH HE RAN BETTER. HE'LL WIN A WSOP EVENT, NO BIGGIE...

[/ QUOTE ]


P.S. I FOLD ACES PREFLOP.