Asking out a girl

Kilillan · #1 02-12-2007, 06:49 AM

Ok, well I've been annoying SSNL with this and Goofyballer told me to create a thread. So here it is.

Well I moved to Japan alone on December 22nd. I started taking language classes with a german girl around January 10th. We got along pretty well, we ate lunch together after school like 7-11 times as friends. I pay for her lunch, she talks about what's happening in her life, etcetera.

She graduated from the class on the 5th so we don't see eachother on a regular basis anymore, but I started teaching her poker. So I've seen her a couple times since then. Last time I saw her I said "I really like you, are you dating anyone?"
Then she said something like "Well, I was dating this French guy, but we kinda broke up 2 weeks ago. I'm not sure if we're still dating, he's really annoying. I'll decide soon."

I wasn't really sure how to take that, I just asked why he was annoying then talked about poker, etcetera.

Today I texted her with

And it's been 6 hours since I sent it, she still hasn't responded.
In Japan texts are usually answered pretty quickly since the cell phones ring when they get a new text, also there's a big message on the main screen.

So, when should I send a follow up text asking whether or not she got the first one?
And is there a good way to ask if she has a boyfriend?
And any other suggestions?

She just turned 28, I'm 19, if that matters at all

goofyballer · #2 02-12-2007, 06:57 AM

Muahaha, all of the girl threads I've inspired are leading a takeover of The Dorm!

EricW · #3 02-12-2007, 07:12 AM

[ QUOTE ]
Ok, well I've been annoying SSNL with this and Goofyballer told me to create a thread. So here it is.

Well I moved to Japan alone on December 22nd. I started taking language classes with a german girl around January 10th. We got along pretty well, we ate lunch together after school like 7-11 times as friends. I pay for her lunch, she talks about what's happening in her life, etcetera.

She graduated from the class on the 5th so we don't see eachother on a regular basis anymore, but I started teaching her poker. So I've seen her a couple times since then. Last time I saw her I said "I really like you, are you dating anyone?"
Then she said something like "Well, I was dating this French guy, but we kinda broke up 2 weeks ago. I'm not sure if we're still dating, he's really annoying. I'll decide soon."

I wasn't really sure how to take that, I just asked why he was annoying then talked about poker, etcetera.

Today I texted her with

And it's been 6 hours since I sent it, she still hasn't responded.
In Japan texts are usually answered pretty quickly since the cell phones ring when they get a new text, also there's a big message on the main screen.

So, when should I send a follow up text asking whether or not she got the first one?
And is there a good way to ask if she has a boyfriend?
And any other suggestions?

She just turned 28, I'm 19, if that matters at all

[/ QUOTE ]

Don't ask her if she got the first one. She obviously did and you'll end up looking desperate.

EricW · #4 02-12-2007, 07:13 AM

btw, why are you paying for her lunch? [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

Kilillan · #5 02-12-2007, 07:15 AM

[ QUOTE ]
btw, why are you paying for her lunch? [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

Baller?
Pretty standard no?

????

And why are my prospects aren't good?

Am I missing something here?

EricW · #6 02-12-2007, 07:18 AM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
btw, why are you paying for her lunch? [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

Baller?
Pretty standard no?

????

And why are my prospects aren't good?

Am I missing something here?

[/ QUOTE ]

man, I suck with girls but I know the big "what not to dos" and paying for a girl especially in your situation is a huge no-no. She'll just see you as a chump who's paying for her free meal while that french [censored] is playing hard to get while nailing her.

Kilillan · #7 02-12-2007, 07:21 AM

it wasn't really because she was a girl, I offer to pay for drinks or lunch when I eat out with my other friends too.

I made like 20k last month and 10$ is a lot to some people, so I don't mind it at all.

un-baller?

Bork · #8 02-12-2007, 07:13 AM

At this point I think it is not looking good for your prospects of being more than a friend.

Advice for future:
Why are you paying for her lunch? Don't ask out by text message.. Don't ask if she is busy on X.. Just say I am doing Y, you can come along. Gauge reaction and go from there.

Voy Por Ustedes · #9 02-12-2007, 09:26 AM

Why you so fixated on some German 'girl' who's almost 10 years older than you? Go for the Japanese girls who are your age.

Kilillan · #10 02-12-2007, 10:27 AM

[ QUOTE ]
Why you so fixated on some German 'girl' who's almost 10 years older than you? Go for the Japanese girls who are your age.

[/ QUOTE ]

Japanese girls are [censored] lame.

And I like her, wtf kind of question is that?

And yeah I got similar responses about the whole asking vs telling thing
I guess it makes sense, as in it makes me more manly. I think our pretext equity is pretty similar either way since her english isn't perfect. But yeah in the future I'll definitely be more assertive and less pussy