P*ssywhipped Boyfriend Not Allowed To Throw Football

[MyNameIsSamSnead]

Ok...I'm going to try to keep this as short as possible while keeping all of the relevant details.

Last July 4th, a bunch of my old college friends went to my buddy Jason's beach house. We stayed up there for 3 or 4 days and on the second day, this kid named Greg (who some of us were realtively close college friends with, some of us were not) came up with his girlfriend to the beach house.

Greg was "that kid to rag on" amongst our friends. The perennial butt of many jokes. I judge a friend by my willingness to call them on the phone and say "Let's hang out" and be able to do it comfortably without any other buffer friends. Greg would not fall into this category for me. In fact, most of us had not even spoken to him since graduation over a year earlier.

Anyway, we all head to the beach for a few hours and on the way back, Greg, with a football in hand, tells our other friend to Rob to go out for a pass. Rob starts running up the street and turns back for the ball. Greg is about to throw the ball when his girlfriend looks over at him and says "No Greg". Greg obediently puts the football down at his side and tells Rob to forget it, nervously laughing it off. Some people were a bit confused, but I think I was the only one close enough to the two of them to actually hear the comment. I was dumbfounded.

After we get back to the house, Greg and his girlfriend stay for another hour or so and then take off. I share my story with the rest of my friends who listen in hilarious horror. Once we get back to Boston, my friend James thinks it would be a good idea to make a facebook group honoring the incident. Hence, Greg's Girlfriend Won't Let Him Throw A Football was born. When Greg heard about the group he got pissed and started whining so we made it private. In November of last year I made it public again and then completely forgot about it.

Just last week, everyone in the facebook group receives 2 angry emails from Greg (I can post if needed) about how this is unacceptable and he thought our friendships meant more than this (they did not), and how his girlfriend will never be comfortable around his friends again and how the group needs to be taken down or he won't get into lawschool. He also stressed how great of a girl she was and how they go and throw the football around all the time in the park. He also tried to weasel out of his obvious whippage by claiming his girlfriend only told him not to throw that ball because she saw a car coming and thought Rob might run into it (pathetic, I know). Basically, he was being a huge vag about everything so we decided to step it up a notch.

A bunch of people in the group created their own "versions" of the pussywhipped story and I wrote a lengthy overview of what was going on in the group. I invited a bunch of random people into the group and am going to start telling them all to create their own renditions. Greg has been calling some people on the group multiple times telling them to take it down. I am the admin for the group and he has not called me once....he's probably scared. But even if he did call, I would not take down the group, I would simply laugh at him.

OOT, this is an open invitation to join the group. Just search for it, its public, its called Greg's Girlfriend Won't Let Him Throw A Football. Feel free to attach your own creations on the story. I just want this group to blow up because this kid takes his facebook reputation way too seriously. There are more hilarious details to this story but I think this is long enough as it is...

And I stole the "Internet is serious business" picture to use in the group because it was too perfect.


Cliff Notes: Toolish kid is so whipped that his girlfriend won't even let him throw a football. Join the facebook group in bold above to spite him.

[miajag]

This is pretty funny.

[blinlk182]

hahaha, joining. how about the emails he sent you?

[ilikeaces86_]

Its kind of funny but when he calls people and ask to take it down and you still don't that makes you a huge douche.

[stinkypete]

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Its kind of funny but when he calls people and ask to take it down and you still don't that makes you a huge douche.

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agreed. reminds me of adanthar.

[z28dreams]

This girl better be hot.

[solids]

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lol.

This whole thing is a pretty a-hole thing to do on your part, but it's funny, so it's OK in my book.

[XXXNoahXXX]

Also, why was he not allowed to throw the football?

[bluef0x]

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lol.

This whole thing is a pretty a-hole thing to do on your part, but it's funny, so it's OK in my book.

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It's something to joke about AFTER he's out of the relationship. For now, have some serious friend talks.... nah mean?

[dcasper70]

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lol.

This whole thing is a pretty a-hole thing to do on your part, but it's funny, so it's OK in my book.

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Agreed.
If it weren't so damn funny, I'd think OP is an uber-douche.
But it is so damn funny, I think OP is brilliant.

Sometimes jokes that go too far get to a point where they've gone so far past too far, that they reach a new level of hilarity.

Well done OP!