help me become a better arguer/negotiater

[gamblore99]

I've come to realize that I am really bad at this and often end up with the short end of the stick. I've seen OOT advice for bargaining before but things like "be firm" I don't really know what exactly that means.

[guids]

I like these.


I consider arguing, and negotiating as seperate things, and require different tactics, you have any examples of your failure to argue/negotiate? ie in what circumstances are you in?

[James Boston]

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I consider arguing, and negotiating as seperate things, and require different tactics

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Good point. Arguing is more about being right, with little regard for gaining favor. Negotiating is more about getting your way - you don't have to be right, and a certain amount of tact needs to be in place.

[guids]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I consider arguing, and negotiating as seperate things, and require different tactics

[/ QUOTE ]

Good point. Arguing is more about being right, with little regard for gaining favor. Negotiating is more about getting your way - you don't have to be right, and a certain amount of tact needs to be in place.

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Yes, exactly, if Im in an argument about something, and I know Im right, Ill use sources to back me up. Negoitiating, ie, a business deal or whatever, is about getting what you want, and letting the other person think they did too.

[gamblore99]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I consider arguing, and negotiating as seperate things, and require different tactics

[/ QUOTE ]

Good point. Arguing is more about being right, with little regard for gaining favor. Negotiating is more about getting your way - you don't have to be right, and a certain amount of tact needs to be in place.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is a good distinction for me. In arguement, I either win or tie, I am rarely convinced the other person is right. In negotiating, I tend to believe I am right but end up going along with the other person.

[guids]

Well, imo, arguing is pretty black and white, and the eprson who is right can usualyl demonstrate so within a couple minutes, and when it does happen to enter a gray area, it then just becomes an exercise of futility, or in other words its pointless to argue, so I dont. Negotiating is a whole different beast, you have to change your persona, to get what you want, and how you change depends on who you are dealing with. I have a great book, I cant remember the exact name, but it basically takes the Art of War and dumbs it down/explains some fo the verses etc, also Machiavelli, but not the prince, read Discourses on Livy.

[Scotch78]

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Arguing is more about being right,

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No, expert arguing is about making the other guy wrong.

Scott

[Riverman]

I always go in saying "be tough, don't cave" then get uncomfortable and lose. Most common example of this is selling tickets to sporting events.

[z28dreams]

(1) Always make the other person name the first number
(2) Have a walking-away price in your mind well before you start the negotiations
(3) Focus on perceived value, not just cost when selling an item
(4) Don't sell yourself out too cheap. People -will- pay for a service they find to be the best.

I'd recommend checking out Doug Hall's 'Jump Start your Business Brain' for ideas on common business mistakes and myths.

[NLSoldier]

[ QUOTE ]
(1) Always make the other person name the first number
(2) Have a walking-away price in your mind well before you start the negotiations
(3) Focus on perceived value, not just cost when selling an item
(4) Don't sell yourself out too cheap. People -will- pay for a service they find to be the best.

I'd recommend checking out Doug Hall's 'Jump Start your Business Brain' for ideas on common business mistakes and myths.

[/ QUOTE ]

I was taught that number 1 is basically a myth and as long as you have a good grasp of your alternatives and such, you should be the one to name the first number as an anchoring point.