Strategy for going to prison

[trapsetter]

Let's say you were convicted of a felony (doesn't really matter what, but we'll say vehicular manslaughter), and you were sentenced to 8-15 years in prison, up for parole in 4.5 years. And just so there is no uncertainty, we're talking about maximum security federal prison, right in there with the worst of society.

Your sentence begins in 4 months. This gives you some time to prepare for it. How would you spend this time, and what would be your gameplan upon arriving to prison?

[mbillie1]

I'd skip out for sure. Take a train to Mexico. If I couldn't do that I'd probably just do massive amounts of drugs until I OD'd. [censored] going to prison man.

[edfurlong]

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I'd skip out for sure. [censored] going to prison man.

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[spyderracing]

Skip out to a country with a non-extradition policy is the obv first choice. Second, spend every last waking moment in a BJJ dojo and learn how to break peoples joints.

[g-bebe]

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I'd skip out for sure. [censored] going to prison man.

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[LocustHorde]

I'd tape my butthole shut, and get a procedure to poop in a bag..

[James282]

I'd probably scrap some skin off around my dick and ass, to make it look like I had an awful STD. I would maintain these cuts for the entirety of my prison sentence.

I would grow a huge beard and try to look totally disgusting.

[NT!]

stop starting threads in OOT

[elus2]

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I'd probably scrap some skin off around my dick and ass, to make it look like I had an awful STD. I would maintain these cuts for the entirety of my prison sentence.


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You'll probably still be targeted by inmates that actually have nasty STDs and ironically the cuts you administered to yourself will make you more susceptible to viruses and bacteria from the poofs you share a cell with.

[Hawklet]

More interesting variant:

You're in prison as a child molestor.

I'm sure that will change the answers significantly.