How long have you gone without sex in a relationship?

SammyKid11 · #1 02-09-2006, 08:09 AM

Okay OOT...help me out. My best friend in the whole world is in a long-term relationship (over 4 years) with a girl I set him up with. My gf and his are good friends, the 4 of us hang out all the time and therefore end up knowing WAY too much about each other's business.

For reasons passing my understanding, my buddy and his gf regularly go LONG periods of time without having sex (I first learned of this info through my gf finding out from his). I recently talked with him about this at length.....and he just doesn't think it's that weird. They live together, claim to love each other very much, yet they go what I consider unholy amounts of time in between sex.

I'm counting on OOT to prove how bizarre this is. Go!

Vavavoom · #2 02-09-2006, 08:12 AM

I think it was about 2 weeks....

Nick-Zack · #3 02-09-2006, 08:48 AM

Get married - you will think back on the only 2 week stretches fondly.

Ree Turd · #4 02-09-2006, 08:56 AM

it is simple. sex is available all the time so you dont really need that so oftern as you needed being single.

i used to be single for years and i had sex on my mind constantly.

now im happy and engaged for 2 years with plans to marry and we hit some 1-2 weeks breaks with no sex - no problem.

i guess desire for having sex has a lot to do with general situation your are in with your life.

for example, my gf has a job right now that really sucks and she is looking for a new one, got turned down on couple of interviews, lost self confidence and is upset - so she doesnt really want to have sex rather than she is expecting love and care and some warmth. i know when things go better for her, we will [censored] some more.

katyseagull · #5 02-09-2006, 09:03 AM

I think for me it was around 7 or 8 days and that was only because my boyfriend hurt his back. I tried really hard to be understanding.

It always surprises me how long people can go without being intimate. Every couple is so different. I have a girlfriend who claims she and her husband went for like 4 months. I never got that at all. It still blows my mind when I think about it.

SammyKid11 · #6 02-09-2006, 09:07 AM

[ QUOTE ]
Get married - you will think back on the only 2 week stretches fondly.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is a principle reason my gf and I are not getting married...we've lived together for over 2 years, but somehow it's not the same.

SammyKid11 · #7 02-09-2006, 09:12 AM

Hey, I have no problem with 1-2 weeks...usually if it's been a week, my gf and I are both very ready to have sex. But we've gone as long as 2 weeks before (I'm not counting times I'm on the road, as sex isn't even an option then for weeks at a time).

The timeframe my buddy and his gf have gone on multiple occasions is MUCH longer than a couple weeks.

4_2_it · #8 02-09-2006, 09:16 AM

[ QUOTE ]
Get married - you will think back on the only 2 month stretches fondly.

[/ QUOTE ]

FYP

Right after I got married and we returned from the honeymoon I placed a glass jar and a bag of jelly beans by the bed. For the first year, I placed one jellybean in the jar every time we had sex (multiple times in one day = multiple jelly beans).

After my first anniversary, I started eating one jelly bean from the jar after sex. One thing I can confirm from this experiment is that jelly beans, if properly stored, still taste pretty damn good after 15 years.

Warik · #9 02-09-2006, 10:24 AM

If we count my ex who was a total prude, then we need more poll options. (p.s: never ever ever ever date a girl like this)

If we count my current gf, then a week. (she needed to recuperate... heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh)

Fishwhenican · #10 02-09-2006, 11:10 AM

Only people who have sex often enough (yes, I know that is a subjective term) are not concerned with how much or often they have sex. My vote only answers the base question not what I think a correct answer should be. I would never ever choose to have sex as infrequently as my particular answer.

Even Dr. Phil thinks sex is important in a relationship!

MYTH #7: A GREAT RELATIONSHIP HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH SEX

* The belief that sex is not important is a dangerous and intimacy-eroding myth. Sex provides an important time-out from the pressures of our daily lives and allows us to experience a quality level of closeness, vulnerability and sharing with our partners.

* Sex might not be everything but it registers higher (90 percent) on the "importance scale" if it's a source of frustration in your relationship. If your sex life is unfulfilled, it becomes a gigantic issue. On the other hand, couples that have satisfying sex lives rate sex at only 10 percent on the "importance scale."

* Don't restrict your thinking by considering sex to be something that only consists of the actual physical act. Touching, caressing, holding hands and any means by which you provide physical comfort to your partner can all be viewed as part of a fulfilling sex life.