Misery loves company poker tactic?

[TStoneMBD]

I was playing live with a well known poster here, SoBeDude, when we came across a little debate that neither one of us was too sure about.

Sitting to SoBe's right was a huge fish with Indian ethnicity. He just came to the table for about an orbit playing nearly every hand and had lost a couple of pots. He just lost another hand and was a bit frustrated at his luck throwing his hands up and what not.

SoBe then turns to him and tries to make him feel better by empathizing with him by telling him about how when he himself first sat down at the table he lost with a set of aces to runner runner flush, which was true. SoBe btw, is a very personable guy and wasnt trying to share his bad beat stories in a negative "look at how unlucky I am" type of way. He was just trying to make the other guy feel better as SoBe understands the value of keeping the fish happy.

So do you think making a comment like that is a good strategy to befriend the fish and offer empathy, or do you think the fish doesn't want to hear any of our bad beat stories? Does it vary depending on what type of fish we're playing against? Personally, I think so.

[JCCARL]

I would think you need to get a read on the fish and the reaction you think a comment like that might have on him.
Regards,
Carl

[_TKO_]

I like this approach to consolling fish. However, I don't think it's necessary to judge the fish's before you carry it out. I don't like to use poker analogies, but I think this is a bet/fold sort of situation. Throw it out there and judge his reaction. I think you gain enough value from bringing it up, mainly because it's probably not going to make him leave. Even if he doesn't want to hear it now, he may want to talk to someone about it later, and it's nice to know that you're there for him.

[SoBeDude]

Just a couple of things to add to this:

1. I'd played with him for 3 days now and he had been drinking heavily while playing (scotch I think).

2. He is loose-passive and just plain horrible.

3. He was feeling unlucky that he wasn't winning more pots.

4. He is clearly a social player. not a grinder but there for entertainment.

So given that, I wanted him to feel like he wasn't the only one getting unlucky, that is just wasn't him. And if he's not having fun, he's going to go home.

But as TS and I were discussing at the table, do you think this helps?

My personal feeling is yes it does (doesn't mean I'm right).

my thoughts here are that I don't want him to get frustrated and leave, I want to see him dig out more Franklins.

-Scott

[galahad_187]

i definatly believe so.
not only does offering comfort seem to help, but also agreeing with them. 'man, yoiu really are unlucky today.' Degenerate gamblers feel unlucky and play partically to prove their unluckiness.
if someone else says thay're unlucky i believe it acually feeds a need they have, and thus keeps them around.

[PokeyReese]

I definitely think he will react postively to Sobe's empathy. He might conclude his luck will eventually turn around and continue playing the way he has been if he witness's others having the same [censored] luck. People go to therapy to talk about their problems and feel better about themselves. Since he can relate to Sobe, I think he'll not feel so aggrivated and continue giving you his money.


what a [censored] first post...and ignore # of posts compared to registration date.

[Pog0]

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SoBe then turns to him and tries to make him feel better by empathizing with him by telling him about how when he himself first sat down at the table he lost with a set of aces to runner runner flush...

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If he had no idea what any of this meant, it could make him feel inferior... ditch the terminology.

[CrayZee]

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If he had no idea what any of this meant, it could make him feel inferior... ditch the terminology.

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Yeah that's what I was thinking. No one wants to hear things that may be too technical...unless, of course, the guy can "talk the talk" and knows the terminology. It'll just make him feel worse w/ all the wah-wah-wah Charlie Brown teacher talk.

A simple statement of empathy would be better. I'd just try to watch out and not say anything overly patronizing. That just makes people even more mad.

[thekiller]

do u like it when u r maliciously befriended?

[Mr. Curious]

Some people don't mind losing to people that they like.