A few thoughts on religion

[T.J. Combo]

The thread about "I've been given a golden opportunity, blah blah" has inspired me to post my view of the story of Jesus.

Fast forward to the future from now. Continuing from the trend we are seeing now, Protestant Christianity has dwindled to the point of non-existense, and a peniless scientist who was ignorant of the old lore has just completed work on his time machine.

Taking with him failed inventions like hoverboots, modern medicines to cure common illnesses of the age, and a spare pair of glasses in case his broke, he transports his 32 year old self back in time to Jesus' era.

Boy Jesus died at the age of 14 or so from getting lost in the woods and eaten by a bear since he was just some regular dude. The scientist's name just so happens to be Jesus Christ (since he was of Spanish and German descent). He shows up being named Jesus and all the natives, including Mary and Joseph are like: "Hey, it's Jesus, finally come back from the woods."

He uses his hoverboots to meet Paul on the water and is like: "You gots no faith Paul, lol" He goes on to perform "miracles" like curing blindness by giving away his spare set of glasses and curing diseases with his medicine kit he brought with him.

The real God gets real pissed and orders his chosen people, the Jews, to remove this false prophet.

Everything goes smoothly, Jesus gets crucified, and when the roman soldier jabs him with a spear, it sets off the return feature on the time travel device he swallowed, which malfunctions and finally sends him home to the future 3 days later, so his body isn't in the tomb.

Local authorities are baffled when they find the scientist's body killed in such a horrible manner, and the circumstances surrounding his death have scholars up in arms about the old religion, and this revitalizes the near dead Protestant Christianity. Thus the second coming.

Edit: Oh yeah, forgot to add, this is why paintings of Jesus are always a white dude and not a swarthy skinned Arabian man like he should've been.

[diebitter]

mkay, that's fine, just don't mention any theories on Mohammed, fer chrissakes.

[T.J. Combo]

Mohammed went forward in time to become the best boxer ever, ldo.

[ocdscale]

Reads like a 12 year old wrote it. Which could be a brag or a beat.

[Piece of Cake]

which book of the bible did you quote that from?

[amplify]

His name wasn't Jesus Christ, and why would he have been Arabian?

A+ would read again.........but won't

[Shadowrun]

[ QUOTE ]
His name wasn't Jesus Christ, and why would he have been Arabian?

[/ QUOTE ]

b/c they invented time machines first, duh

[tiger_hall]

please no more religious threads...
you cant convince a believer they are wrong no point

[stazbornak2]

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