Hypothetical question involving parent's will after divorce.

[Woolygimp]

My parents are having a divorce after 27 years of marriage, with the reason for the split being at the discretion of my father who is leaving to be with another woman. Together they had two children with one being my younger sister (17) and I (20). Before the marriage my mother had 3 daughters who are between the age of 25-34.

Together my parents were able to create a very successful restaurant chain with three active main restaurants. One is in the control of my oldest half-sister who purchased it from my parents about 10 years ago.

The highest grossing restaurant is in our hometown in Louisiana which has net profit of about $500-600/yr before taxes. The profits from this establishment are surely to drop, since my dad was a major reason for it's success since he was a take no [censored] fire people on the spot sort of guy and got the job done. This is going to my mother.

Then there's a restaurant in Tennessee which my father is taking after the split. For the last 4 years it has supposedly broken even, even though according to the books it went through more raw material and produce than the LA restaurant. My mother, and her CPA, suspect that my dad has been faking the books and hoarding the profits from this particular restaurant.

Well before he left, he signed a will leaving his money, restaurant, and remaining assets in the name of me and my younger sister. He made it clear that he wants his children to get just about everything, instead of his new girlfriend.

My mom, last night, made it clear that if my dad did pass away that she expects those assets to be immediately surrendered to her because she worked her entire life to get where she has gotten. She basically views the will as a catalyst to get control over the entire estate should something happen to my dad. My mom's will dividends her assets equally between her 5 children.

I have to follow this by conveying that my mom is the kindest person I have ever known. She has ALWAYS been there for me, without exception.



Here's the kicker. My dad wants his estate to go his two children, as he doesn't care too much about my mom's older girls.
If I were to surrender everything in my dad's will to my mother, I'm fairly sure that when she passed away everything would turn into another five way split which probably isn't the intention of my father.

I love both of my parents dearly, so I feel sort of guilty even writing this post. I just view this is a fairly difficult question on multiple grounds.

Hypothetically, if events were to unfold like this I think that my best course of action would be to keep the business that my dad left to me instead of handing everything over. However to be fair, I'd give my mom a percentage of the profits and remaining money to help with her retirement which is long overdue since she is around 65.
I don't know if this would float her boat, and I'd definitely feel +bonus points of guilt since she is the one getting screwed to begin with since her husband of 30 years is leaving her.

I'm fairly inexperienced with this sort of thing, so I'm just looking for a general opinion.

[kgrad5]

how is it that your parents have been married for 30 years, but your mom has girls from her other marriage that are less then 30 years old (25-36?).

[Soul Daddy]

Did your mom continue to have other mens' babies while she was married to your dad?

[elwoodblues]

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My mom, last night, made it clear that if my dad did pass away that she expects those assets to be immediately surrendered to her because she worked her entire life to get where she has gotten

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Ridiculous. Your mom has no right to those assets at all (morally/ethically or legally.) Further, you would probably have some unintended tax consequences if you gifted such a large asset to your mother.

There's no reason to create unnecessary problems right now. Don't tell your mom that you plan on keeping the assets or that you plan on giving them to her. There's no reason to set any expectations at this point. Your father could very well change his will and/or outlive your mother.

Right now, it sounds like your mother is bitter about the divorce and is saying some pretty strange things, in my opinion.

[bwana devil]

doesnt sound very hypothetical.

the will are your dad's wishes and i wouldnt dishonor them. if he wanted your mom to gain control of his assests he would have willed her them initially. it's a difficult situation especially when money and family are involved and considering how young you are but that's the right decision.

sounds like youd be doing so out of pressure and guilt not because you think it's the right thing.

[Woolygimp]

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My mom, last night, made it clear that if my dad did pass away that she expects those assets to be immediately surrendered to her because she worked her entire life to get where she has gotten

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Ridiculous. Your mom has no right to those assets at all (morally/ethically or legally.) Further, you would probably have some unintended tax consequences if you gifted such a large asset to your mother.

There's no reason to create unnecessary problems right now. Don't tell your mom that you plan on keeping the assets or that you plan on giving them to her. There's no reason to set any expectations at this point. Your father could very well change his will and/or outlive your mother.

Right now, it sounds like your mother is bitter about the divorce and is saying some pretty strange things, in my opinion.

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The divorce isn't affecting me much at all, except knowing that my mom is going through a pretty difficult time. Words cannot describe how kind, and how good of a mother she has been.

This is probably the primary reason I would have reservations, since I feel that I owe her a great deal and to be honest I don't deserve anything that would be handed down to me as I did not work for it.

[ImAKing]

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My mom, last night, made it clear that if my dad did pass away that she expects those assets to be immediately surrendered to her because she worked her entire life to get where she has gotten

[/ QUOTE ]

Ridiculous. Your mom has no right to those assets at all (morally/ethically or legally.) Further, you would probably have some unintended tax consequences if you gifted such a large asset to your mother.

There's no reason to create unnecessary problems right now. Don't tell your mom that you plan on keeping the assets or that you plan on giving them to her. There's no reason to set any expectations at this point. Your father could very well change his will and/or outlive your mother.

Right now, it sounds like your mother is bitter about the divorce and is saying some pretty strange things, in my opinion.

[/ QUOTE ]

The divorce isn't affecting me much at all, except knowing that my mom is going through a pretty difficult time. Words cannot describe how kind, and how good of a mother she has been.

This is probably the primary reason I would have reservations, since I feel that I owe her a great deal and to be honest I don't deserve anything that would be handed down to me as I did not work for it.

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Sounds like she has just been a good mother. But arnt most mothers suppose to be, granted there are some real horrible mothers. But that is like on of their jobs in life, that really shouldn't be re-paid back to them in the form of $$

[4 High]

How old is your mother if she has a 34 year old daughter before a 27 year marriage? That would make her like 75 at the youngest no?

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

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How old is your mother if she has a 34 year old daughter before a 27 year marriage? That would make her like 75 at the youngest no?

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Methinks she had the 34-year-old roughly 7 years before this marriage.

[4_2_it]

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My mom, last night, made it clear that if my dad did pass away that she expects those assets to be immediately surrendered to her because she worked her entire life to get where she has gotten

[/ QUOTE ]

Ridiculous. Your mom has no right to those assets at all (morally/ethically or legally.) Further, you would probably have some unintended tax consequences if you gifted such a large asset to your mother.

There's no reason to create unnecessary problems right now. Don't tell your mom that you plan on keeping the assets or that you plan on giving them to her. There's no reason to set any expectations at this point. Your father could very well change his will and/or outlive your mother.

Right now, it sounds like your mother is bitter about the divorce and is saying some pretty strange things, in my opinion.

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The divorce isn't affecting me much at all, except knowing that my mom is going through a pretty difficult time. Words cannot describe how kind, and how good of a mother she has been.

This is probably the primary reason I would have reservations, since I feel that I owe her a great deal and to be honest I don't deserve anything that would be handed down to me as I did not work for it.

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But this is what your father worked for and he wants to give it to you. If your parents were 50/50 in the way they cultivated the business and are happy with the divorce settlement then your mother has zero right to that restaurant and you should honor your father's wishes. If you want your mother to run the business (assuming dad dies) then offer to sell it to her.

BTW, I am guessing if Dad gets wind that Mom might end up with the restaurant then his GF will probably be the one who gets it when he dies.

My advice, say nothing, commit to nothing and see how the situation unfolds in time.