Lol Hellmuthaments

[ZeeJustin]

The following is copy/pasted from my blog about day 3 of the 25k Bellagio WPT Main event:

Later in the day, I got moved to Phil Hellmuth’s table. I folded everything in my first orbit. In the second orbit, some guy raised, I called with 87s, another guy moved all-in, and the first raiser folded. I was getting like 2.3-1 to call, meaning I only have to win the hand around 31% of the time for a call to be profitable, so I called. The all-in had AQo, and I won the 40/60.

“Eight seven suited?!” exclaimed Phil. “You called an all-in with eight high?!”

I gave my typical vague response which was, “I dunno… there was just so much money in the pot.”

Phil berated me even more. “I don’t know where these guys come from that call all ins with eight seven suited.”

I jokingly responded, “We can’t all be Phil Hellmuths.” The whole table (Phil included) had a laugh at that.

However, that really set Phil off.

I didn’t think there were many “spots” at the table, so I was playing my relatively tight straightforward game. In one hand, Phil made a standard raise from MP1, and I called in the cutoff with 77. The flop came 954, Phil checked, and I bet 2/3 of the pot. Phil folded.

Standard boring hand, right? Wrong! It took about six minutes the way it played out.

After I bet, Phil started talking to me. “Did you hit that flop?”

I didn’t answer.

“I have a big hand kid. I don’t think you hit this flop.” A minute later: “You look like one of those kids that’s just gonna blow up and hand all his chips to me.”

“You know kid, sometimes I bet the flop, and sometimes I check. I don’t check because I’m weak. I check because I want to see you bet, and then I decide what to do. Sometimes I raise, sometimes I just call, and sometimes I’ll even fold! That’s what great players do.”

Anyway, after his blabbering, he finally folded face down.

For the rest of the time we were at the same table, every time I raised, he gave me some lecture about patience and what not. “You’ll never go deep in one of these things, because you don’t have any patience.”

The last thing I wanted was to have a loose image while Phil had a tight one, so I pointed out the obvious. “The funny thing is that you’ve been playing twice as many hands as me.” Phil ignored the observation.

The guy to my right said something to the lines of, “Every one of these events, two or three complete maniacs make the final table. You don’t need patience.”

Of course Phil blabbered back to me about what I needed to become a good poker player, and someone at another table overheard.

He turned his chair to Phil and loudly asked him, “You don’t know who that is, do you!? That’s internet legend ZeeJustin Bonomo!”

Another nearby table joined in and started making fun of both Phil and me at the same time. “That’s internet whiz kid Justin Bonomo! He’s won every tournament online!” Four or five different people started listing off my resume to Phil, but it just went in one ear and out the other.

I decided to remain quiet. I actually didn’t want Phil thinking I was a good player. I was perfectly happy having him think I was one of those kids that was just gonna hand him all my chips. He was even making predictions about how many chips I would give him (250,000 was his estimate) and how long it would take (15 miuntes).

After everyone told him my resume, I don’t think his opinion of me changed. “Look guys. They’ve brought half a dozen ‘internet legends’ like this kid to me before, and they’ve all gone broke within two years. Why is this kid gonna be any different?”

Lol Phil Hellmuthaments.

Sadly, he got moved to another table shortly after, and we never had a chance to really tangle.

Edit: FWIW, I was actually impressed by his tournament game. I've played cash games w/ him before (where he's VERY weak). He had a good loose style in the tournament, and I think all his chatter actually successfully discouraged people from playing back at him, and also helped him gain information about how people were playing.