Girl I'm "dating" is pregnant (long)

Scotty. · #1 02-19-2007, 03:14 AM

I met this girl while I was out for my friend's birthday back in early November. I just turned 21 in January and she is 23. She was cute, we danced and made out, and she gave me her number. I call her, and we talk for a while on the phone and decide to go out again.

Over the next month and a half, we go out maybe 4-5 times. She works a fair bit, and I was busy with exams. She is traditional, and said outright the first time we went out that she won't have sex with someone for a while, until she gets to know them pretty well. There is no sex during this period, but it very likely would have followed after 1 or 2 more dates.

I was finding that I really liked this girl. She was super easy to talk to about pretty much anything. I think I had more fun on dates with her than any other girl I've been with. I was definitely considering getting into a real relationship with this girl.

After my exams, I go away on a cruise for a couple weeks with my family. I come back early January and give her a couple calls and get no answer. A few days later I get a message from her saying she is going away for a couple months for some school/workshop thing. WTF? I call her and she answers this time - we talk about it for a bit, and her story seemed legit. She said she would call me when she gets back.

I did think about her a fair bit over the last month and a half. I slept with 2 other random girls during this period though, as we were not exclusive or anything, and I wasn't really sure if/when she would come back. This morning I get the following text from her:

"Hey I'm back, but I found out I'm pregnant. You don't have to talk to me again. I want you to know I really liked you though."

I didn't ask whose it was or how far along she was. Based on her saying she won't sleep with randoms, I'm going to assume it belongs to her ex which would mean she is around 4-5 months along. If this is true, this is definitely bad news, as she has been out drinking numerous times in this period. I sent her a text back saying wow I don't know what to think, and that I'm away for a week (true) and would call her when I get back.

I'm only 21, have a year left on my bachelor's and want to go back to law school after. I'm certainly not ready to handle a kid. She still lives with her parents - I don't know if they will be involved with raising the kid, or what the situation with the ex (or other daddy) is. I do really like this girl though.

I suppose the rational plan would just be to run and not look back. Curious what others thoughts and advice would be in this situation.

BEP · #2 02-19-2007, 03:17 AM

Never talk to this girl again. There is no other option.

chim17 · #3 02-19-2007, 03:17 AM

Post deleted by Ryan Beal

[censored] · #4 02-19-2007, 03:18 AM

you're not in love right? because if not this is really really easy. you walk. you don't have to an [censored] or whatever but YOU DO NOT want to get involved and tangled into what will no doubt be a mess.

tboss888 · #5 02-19-2007, 03:18 AM

Scotty. · #6 02-19-2007, 03:20 AM

[ QUOTE ]
you're not in love right?

[/ QUOTE ]

No, definitely not - we have really only been on like 4-5 dates. I was definitely hopeful that it could turn into something though.

WhoIam · #7 02-19-2007, 03:20 AM

Tom?

[censored] · #8 02-19-2007, 03:23 AM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
you're not in love right?

[/ QUOTE ]

No, definitely not - we have really only been on like 4-5 dates. I was definitely hopeful that it could turn into something though.

[/ QUOTE ]

ya no doubt the situation sucks because you were interested but honestly this isn't even close.

btw I'm not opposed to dating single moms, if you like kids like many guys are but this is much different and as I said will no doubt be incredibly messy and frankly just a lot of baggage you don't need.

tuq · #9 02-19-2007, 03:25 AM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
you're not in love right?

[/ QUOTE ]

No, definitely not - we have really only been on like 4-5 dates. I was definitely hopeful that it could turn into something though.

[/ QUOTE ]

ya no doubt the situation sucks because you were interested but honestly this isn't even close.

btw I'm not opposed to dating single moms, if you like kids like many guys are but this is much different and as I said will no doubt be incredibly messy and frankly just a lot of baggage you don't need.

[/ QUOTE ]
^ What answer were you hoping for other than [censored]'s AKA GTFO of Dodge? Seriously, this could be a blessing in disguise.

[censored] · #10 02-19-2007, 03:29 AM

also man it since you had to ask this question, you are most likely the type who would be able to convince himself that the girl could use a friend right now, ie you.

that too would be getting involved. don't do this either.