About to take a huge pay cut, worried about finances

[DrewDevil]

A year and a half ago, I was happy working in my low-paying, sports-on-TV job, but I was concerned about providing for my new family, as I was engaged to be married.

So I quit my TV gig, got married, and went back to practicing law in Houston, as I had once before. Hated it the first time around but thought it would be okay this time, given a happy home life.

Terrible, terrible decision, as I've pretty much been miserable practicing law, especially when I think about what I left behind. A few months ago I decided to get back into TV, and now that my son has been born, I am sending out tapes all over the place, and I'm starting to get nibbles at different stations.

The problem is that the jobs I am qualified for are probably going to pay in the $30s or $40s (unless I get really lucky and score a much bigger market gig). This is going to be 1/3 or 1/4 as much as I am making now, and I'm really worried about making ends meet.

Before when I was in TV, it was just me, and I didn't care if I was broke. But now there's my wife and my son, and I don't want them to have to struggle. My wife and I had both hoped she wouldn't have to work for a few years, but I think it might be really bleak if we all try to live on, say, $3K a month gross.

My wife is being very supportive and truly wants me to be happy, and she's excited about our new adventure... but I can tell she's worried also. She is the best thing that's ever happened to me and we have a great marriage right now. I would be devastated if money problems caused us marriage problems.

I've truly considered just giving up on my dreams and staying with the conventional / well-paying gig, but I really think I'd be miserable doing that. So the trick is being able to keep my dreams alive, and do something I really enjoy, without making my wife miserable in the process.

Any suggestions on how to make this situation easier or better?

[Badger]

I'll preface this that I'm 25 and unmarried, so I'm not speaking from life experience here.

The way I see it is you've got to put your family first. Which right now seems like it means bringing home the bacon. But a miserable father who's working all the time is pretty useless to his son.

If I were you I'd get myself finacially established first, and then pursue the dream job. Keep your dream alive, set a date that you will get back to it. See if you and your wife can figure out a time where she could go back to work and you could ditch the dreadful job. I think she'll be better off in the long run getting back to work too.

My mom temporarily retired when she had my older brother. He has Down's Syndrome so she ended up not going back to work. Then she had me. And ended up never getting back to work, which she didn't have to, as my dad was a lawyer and made plenty. My dad ended up quiting his job to start his own firm where he wouldn't have to work long hours once my family looked financially set. I think he regrets not doing this sooner.
I also think my mother regrets not getting back to work, which she could have done if my dad had worked less.

I doubt working a couple years as a lawyer will kill your dream if you really want to hold onto it. Keep the long term and mind and never forget when financially planning that you're working to enter a lower income situation.

I couldn't tell you how many times my dad has told me to spend less than I make. Saving now could make your life a lot easier down the road.

Ultimately you'll have to decide if you've reached the point where your (un)hapiness outweighs the benefits you're bringing to your family.

[zimmer879]

What are your expenses?

[turnipmonster]

drew, can't you do some kind of side work as a lawyer for extra bread? do some consulting or something with a small company or something like that?

[Zag Nutz]

If you can pull down $100k, can't you do that for a year or two more, but live like you're making $35? Then you make the move and have a nice cushion of cash built-up to pad your lower income until you can build-up in the new profession.

Or, maybe you use your law degree to do something similar like a sports agent or a lawyer within a corporation, vs. practicing in a firm. The company I work at employs four lawyers in our legal dept., and I know at least two of them have said that they would never want to go into a private practice, but they love their 8-5 corporate job.

Lots of options out there man. Keep a positive attitude b/c that will be crucial.

[stayingalive]

work 4 years making your 120k or whateva, live like you are busto, obviously take care of your familys medical and nutritious food, but otherwise live busto

then pursue the tv thing. you will have 100k saved up, continue living like you are busto, use the 100k for emergencies, and follow the dream.

really, what do you think 120k will give your family that 40k wont? new low end bmw's and nice coffee tables thats whats, who cares, live your dream, take care of your family, but live your dream

[scotchnrocks]

Screw the money and do what makes you happy. The one thing I've learned in my few years out of college making pretty good money is that it doesn't make me happy by itself. The advice about living cheap on your current salary for a year or so to see what it would be like is good if you can discipline yourself well enough to simulate the 40k lifestyle. Your wife will need to get a job too.

[bav]

There's a book out there (don't recall the title) that basically says the whole point of work is to make money, make money, make money. You are not SUPPOSED to be happy at work...why do you think they call it work. This whole theory that you're supposed to enjoy your work is a fairly modern creation. You're supposed to have a happy home life, enjoy your evenings and weekends, and spend 8-5 M-F working your butt off doing whatever it is you can find that makes the most. Do that for 25 years, live frugally, and retire. Or don't live frugally, and do it for your whole life and never retire. Whatever.

'Course I'm from the opposite school. If I can't be reasonably happy at work, I ain't gonna be doing it for long. I find it remarkably freeing to tell the boss "no...not gonna do that...lemme know if you want me to find new employment." (It's only come to that a couple times.) But that's easy when you're single and have a sack of nuts buried for a potentially long winter.

40k is enough to live a happy and normal middleish class existence in most cities. But it ain't gonna be easy. You can hope that your salary will ratchet up as you continue down the new career path, but you really should know before you start what sorta salary you need. Figure out your budget, and figure out what you really MUST have to be happy. If the figures don't add up, stick with what you have until you find a plan B that will work. However miserable you may be playing a lawyer, I suspect you'll be more miserable finding you're barely breaking even month after month and every random unexpected expense is going on your credit card.

It would be enormously easier on you to have a few $10K's in the bank. The suggestion to stick with your 6-figure job for a while and live like you're making 1/4 that is a really good one. In a year or two you can try out the TV gig, verify you can live on your income, and not be in a panic after 12mo. The good part is you can probably fall back on the J.D. if after three or four years things just aren't working.

[AlanDyer]

you only live once. do what makes you happy. you will resent your wife and son if they stop you from living as you please..
make your wife get a job.. get day care.. blah blah blah

don't be afraid to do what you WANT

[jively]

[ QUOTE ]
There's a book out there (don't recall the title) that basically says the whole point of work is to make money, make money, make money. You are not SUPPOSED to be happy at work...why do you think they call it work. This whole theory that you're supposed to enjoy your work is a fairly modern creation. You're supposed to have a happy home life, enjoy your evenings and weekends, and spend 8-5 M-F working your butt off doing whatever it is you can find that makes the most. Do that for 25 years, live frugally, and retire. Or don't live frugally, and do it for your whole life and never retire. Whatever.

[/ QUOTE ]
The book is called Fire Your Boss by Stephen M. Pollan, and I think I may have recommended it before. The book talks about working only to provide a stream of income. Find a job that you are qualified for that pays the best, with the smallest number of hours, most vacation time, and shortest commute. Then get your life satisfaction out of your family, friends, hobbies, religion/spirituality, communuity service, volunteering, and so on. The book is definitely worth looking at, and the paperback is only $11.86 now.

-Tom