Toss's Degenerate Vegas Christmas Trip Report (LONG)

[toss]

Like all good degenerate Asian families me, my older brother, and my parents went to Vegas for Christmas. We left from LA at 1:00 Saturday. I made the first bet of the trip with my brother about how long it was going to take to get there. My brother said we'd see Luxor no later than 6:00. I predicted heavy traffic and guessed 7:30. Unfortunately I won the bet. Whoever said vegas was slow during Christmas was lying! It was like half of California was trying to get there.

Excaliburr
We roll into excalibur, check-in, and instead of going out to eat with the family I hit the poker room instead. First degenerate mistake of the night. I put my name on the 200NL game and sit down at 3/6 limit. First hand I get get dealt in UTG and I straddle. (Or strooodle as one of the dealers like to say.) Some donk raises after me, someone 3-bets, another donk coldcalls, I 4-bet blind, donk caps. Four way to the flop for 5 bets each. Flop is T92r. I tell the table I hit the flop hard and bet. Donk who capped preflop is shaking his head because he knows I haven't looked at my cards yet. We end up capping it 3 ways on the flop and on the turn. By the river both donks are all in and the board is T922T. First donk flips over JJ, other donks has A-high, I flip over my cards to find QTo, shipit. I grab a fistful on chips and spray them at the dealer. Donk who capped preflop says, "How do you play defense against that?" That's right you can't play defense against that. The whole table is already on tilt.

By the time I get to the 200NL table I've had 3 Sam Adams and a Sobe/Vodka. I fold a few hands and straddle UTG. I get five limpers and I push because no one would limp/call an all in right? Right?!?! Everyone folds I show my 52o. A visibly drunk Persian guy says, "I like your style" and orders me a shot from the waitress which was good because I was getting sober and might've actually started playing good. The shot glass was huge. Any bigger and I would've had to use both hands to take it. I straddle/push two more times at the table with 43o and AA. The damn nits folded. I finally make some money when I get it all in preflop with AKo against two donks who both had ATo. No one makes a pair and I get shipped three more stacks of red to join my original two. Unfortunately I lose a full buyin to one donkey who limp/calls my straddle/raise with 22. Flop is 436 and I open push with 43o and he calls! He hits runner runner flush and gets shipped the pot.

I'd also like to mention the ridiculous amount of tipping I did. Within a few hours I tipped over $100 to the dealers and the cocktail waitress. Win the pot? Tip a few whites. Get the drink here faster? Tip a redbird. Where's the closest restroom? Here's a few more whites. Thanks to my frequent tippage I'm pretty wasted after a 5 or 6 orbits. I notice a European looking teenage guy playing pretty tight ABC sitting to my right so I ask him if he's Finnish, Swedish, Norwayish? Nope he's from England. Do you play online? Yes he does. A 2+2er by any chance? Yes to that too. It turns out he posts in the HU section of the site from time to time. He's on a poker excursion from England and has been grinding it out in the 1/2, 1/3 NL games around Vegas. Now in retrospect I feel pretty bad because he had to sit there listen to my drunken ramblings all night long. I bet he enjoyed my atrocious 80 proof alcoholic breath as well. And when he leaves I decide to torture him some more and follow the poor guy to the Flamingo. (<font color="green">+150</font> Poker after tips)

Flamingo
I was utterly drunk walking to the Flamingo. I hadn't eaten anything all day long, weighed 130 pounds, and had so much liquor in me that I would've exploded if I bumped too hard into something. This is where my memory gets fuzzy. On the way there some guy discreetly but cleary says "COCAINE, MARIJUANA, ECSTASY". I respond "No thank you Mr. Drug Dealer". Then the
at Flamingo were pretty busy, but I get seated in a few minutes. The table looks like a bunch of old nits so I started straddling every orbit. I finally played a big pot when I make it $20 to go with AKo after two limpers, (it's a 200NL table), and I get SIX callers. Wow maybe the table isn't nitty after all. The flop is Q[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]9[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]3[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] and it's checked around. Turn is A[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] and a Russian looking guy bets $25, I minraise and we see the river HU. I get it all in and win a nice pot. I ended up donking


after coming back from the restroom I sit down at the table and all my chips are gone. "What the hell?" I had over 2 stacks of red. I ask the teenage looking guys sitting to my right where my chips are. They say they're gone and snicker. "What the hell?" I sit around thinking either someone is playing a joke or my chips really did get stolen. After about 5 minutes I realize I sat at the WRONG table and I get up to go to my seat. The table I was sitting at cracks up and they laugh for a good minute or so. I order some water because it's clear I need to start sobering up. The other big hand I played was where I lost my stack. I raise UTG with Q[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]J[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] and get 13 callers. Flop is Q[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img]9[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]8[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]. There's about a billion chips in the middle so I check and it gets checked to some old looking nit with 6 or 7 buyins in midposition who bets. I shrug and push All In and old guy tanks for a whole minute. He finally calls and shows 88. The board pairs and I rebuy. I slowly



brother picked me up and drove me back to the hotel where I tried to sleep. I didn't get any for till 10 in the morning. Those 5 hours were pure hell. I vomited all the drinks I had that night. I vomited up bile. I vomited air. Way to go Toss. (<font color="red">-200</font> from Poker)

Day Two of the trip to follow. (Wynn, Stratoshpere, Casino War, Blackjack)

[grando]

awesome start sir!

[rageotones]

were you still drunk when you posted? good TR, but what's with the chunks of missing text?

[TomBrooks]

I've never seen an Asian person get drunk.

[terrapin314]

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good TR, but what's with the chunks of missing text?

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[toss]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
good TR, but what's with the chunks of missing text?

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The parts where I didn't know what the hell was going on or just completely don't remember. It was the first time I've been drunk enough for that to happen. Scary.

Rest of the report of later tonight.

[AllVegasPoker]

[ QUOTE ]
I grab a fistful on chips and spray them at the dealer. Donk who capped preflop says, "How do you play defense against that?" That's right you can't play defense against that. The whole table is already on tilt.

[/ QUOTE ]

haha.. good start dude. This is my favorite part thus far. Nothing like putting an entire table on tilt w/ your first hand. I love it.

[toss]

Wynn
The poker room at the Wynn was simply luxurious. It had nice lighting. Dim, but not too dim. The air had no trace of smoke to be sniffed unlike the Excalibur or Flamingo. The tables, the cards, the chips they all felt like they've been bought yesterday. And have I mentioned the waitresses? SMOKING HOT!!!



A poker room that hires models to serve us drinks is a good poker room. The whole atmosphere of the place was different. The host and floormen wore permanent smiles and seemed very eager to get me seated. I put my name on 15/30 limit and sat right away at 5/10NL. The floorlady quickly and efficiently removed ten stacks of blue from the rack onto the table. I wanted to tip, but didn't find the right oppurtunity. I lose a hundo real quick then get seated at the 15/30 table. Again the floorlady exchanges my rack of blue for two racks of red in a flash. This poker room is awesome. Now for some hands. Laggish Asian guy named Scott open raises CO and Asian lady who knows CO coldcalls. I call in the SB with A[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img]7[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img], 3 way to the flop which is A[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]6[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]4[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]. I check, Scott, checks, the Lady bets, I just call, Scott checkraises, we both call. Turn is the 2[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img], I check, Scott checks and says "Now again!", the lady bets and takes down the pot. Scott says "We a team!" and laughs. Okay.

The game has become 6 handed because of a must move rule. (the only flaw I saw in the poker room) Scott openraises on the button and his SB lady friend coldcalls him, I fold garbage. Scott fires the flop and turn on a rag board and lady folds. Scott gives out a terse vindictive HAH! and turns over 43o no pair. (The lady folded AJ) Then he gives three red chips back to his lady friend. What? Anyway the floorman comes around to take our names. I find out some guy named mike l. is at the table too. If it's 2+2 mike l. why is he playing 15/30 limit? Maybe he's waiting for a bigger game. The game gets even crappier when it gets down to four handed and I head over to a 2/5NL table with about $700. Not too great of a table with only a few soft spots. They all look like locals really. I play the biggest pot of the trip a few orbits in. I raise a limper with T[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]T[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] on the button to $25, middle aged Chinese guy in SB coldcalls, limper calls. Three way to the flop for $80ish. The board reads K[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]Q[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]T[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img]. Limper donks into me for $35. I raise to $85 (in retrospective this raise was much too small, it feels like a lot more when your moving a whole stack of red) SB thinks a little and calls, limper folds. Turn is the 5[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]. SB checks. I take a look at his stack and see a little less than 3 stacks of red left (about $295). The pot is almost the same size. I think it's either all in or check/fold so I push. He sighs then calls waiting ten seconds before he does so. He flips the nut flush and the board doesn't pair. Ship the $900 pot to him.

I'm down to $250 so I pull out three more benjamins and placed them behind my stack of reds. Cash plays. I play solid and grind it back up to $850. I play another big pot with middle aged Chinese guy. Five limpers and I check in the BB with J[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]T[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img]. Flop is the beautiful 9[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]8[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img]7[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]. I check, the Chinese guy bets out $50 straight, it's folded back to me and I angrily push two stacks of red into the pot trying to look as strong as I can. No more small raises here. The Chinese guy sits straight up and stares me down. I make eye contact briefly then look away. He stares for another minute. I decide to go WPT on his ass and sit up and walk away. I wait another minute before sitting down. He looks at me, pulls out a stack then looks quickly back. I make no move or show no expression. He finally folds and says "Nice raise."

I go card dead and leave the room down $500. I wish I didn't skip the Wynn buffet which had a 3 hour long wait. My brother assured me there was no better buffet in existence. Every other part of the Wynn was just as luxurious as the poker room. Actual snow lined the indoor bushes and trees. Everywhere I saw shiny marble stones, crimson carpetting, and elaborate light fixtures. And don't forget the cocktail waitresses. Hot!!! Even the bathroom was pretty swank. I felt underdressed while taking a piss. The waterfall they had was even more amazing. This picture doesn't do it any justice. It simply has to be seen.



Ghettosphere (Stratosphere)
From the Wynn to the Stratosphere, my god what a transition. Every resort has a certain feel or atmosphere. The Excalibur feels touristy and kind of cheap. The Wynn exudes luxury and opulence. The Stratosphere reeks of depression and broken dreams. In fact I think they used broken dreams and false hope as the foundation of this tower of Ghettoness. I'm hungry so I stop by a pizza place and order a slice of pepperoni and cheese. As the cashier is handing me the slice she kinda shrugs her shoulders as if to say sorry. I understand why when I bite into the pizza. Let's just say it may have been the most disappointing slice of pizza I've had in my life. I've had better pizza in public school cafeterias. It was the first bite of food I've had in two days and I couldn't even finish it. It was that horrible. I planned to go to the top of the Stratosphere but the wait was 45 minutes long. Why was it so busy when christmas was only 2 or 3 hours away? Damn degenerate tourists! Instead I play some slots. Yes that's right slots. Why would I play such a stupid boring -EV game for? Wheel of Fortune is why. This slot machine must make bank. I pour in $40 just to spin the god damn wheel.



I didn't care whether I won or lost. The wheel was drawing me in and waiting to be spun. I'm on my 50th reel and I'm on tilt. The guy sitting to my right has hit BACK to BACK wheel spins and he's just hit his third. Why do the donkeys always get lucky? After what must've been 100 credits the slot machine blares out "WHEEL OF FORTUNE!!!" I sit up straight in my seat and my family crowds around. I hit the spin button and the audience (sound bite from the slot machine) starts cheering. I stand up as the wheel slows near 1000. It stops at 40. F**king rigged ass piece of Sh*t!!! My Dad start talking in rapid Cambodian and claps his hands real hard. My brother shakes his head at me like it was my fault. Must've pressed the button too hard or too softly. I decided it was time to blow this dump and head back to Excalibur.

Part Three to follow (blackjack and casino war)

[TheStation]

im excited for casino war, hopefully taking place at Bellagio (my personal fav place to play casino war)

[pig4bill]

Isn't that Clark Griswold's cousin Eddie's favorite game?