26 Years, 7 Months, and 24 Days In The Life Of...

neuroman · #1 09-18-2006, 02:23 AM

I'm not sure how to say this.

beat: I [censored] a girl on Saturday night
brag: She wasn't a tranny
variance: I'm twenty six and hadn't had sex before

beat: I couldn't finish the job
brag: There is a tarantula on my front porch right now
variance: he is really small

BEAT: I GOT LAID FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE ON SATURDAY NIGHT BUT COULDN'T CLOSE THE [censored] DEAL OR EVEN GET A FIRM HANDSHAKE, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, YES, I COULDN'T GET IT UP, WTF
BRAG: even though I was stuck for the night, I ate her out like a champ
VARIANCE: the spermicide from the condom made her mouth numb when she blew me

BEAT: I HAD BLUE BALLS
BRAG: I coped with my failure by drinking jack daniels and doing cocaine
VARIANCE: Drunk and stoned for the last 36 hours straight

beat: not knowing what my next play is
beat: realizing how little I know
beat: it's raining right now, and I don't know where the tarantula is.

brag: I am drunk, and it is raining.

variance: it is raining.

absoludicrous · #2 09-18-2006, 02:25 AM

Write a [censored] book. BTW, succombing to blue balls on your inagural voyage is somewhat normal.

juggernaut · #3 09-18-2006, 02:28 AM

if you've been up for the past 36 hours doin' blow you should definitely check out the raptor christ thread.

kujo · #4 09-18-2006, 02:33 AM

were u drunk when this happened? if so i dont really see it as that big a deal

ps. why were u still wearing the dome when she blew you? take that [censored] off

ryguy2fly · #5 09-18-2006, 02:34 AM

[ QUOTE ]
if you've been up for the past 36 hours doin' blow you should definitely check out the raptor christ thread.

[/ QUOTE ]

Gary Stevenson · #6 09-18-2006, 02:35 AM

shouldn't [censored] a non tranny girl be a brag and not a beat?
isn't being a virgen at 26 a beat and no variance?

ryguy2fly · #7 09-18-2006, 02:37 AM

yeah i'd say thats a pretty massive beat

neuroman · #8 09-18-2006, 02:45 AM

[ QUOTE ]
why were u still wearing the dome when she blew you? take that [censored] off

[/ QUOTE ]
I TOOK IT OFF, I MAY BE DUMB BUT I'M NOT STUPID

kidcolin · #9 09-18-2006, 02:50 AM

op,

If you were drunk it's no big deal. I had whiskey dick my first time. it still ruled though.

this part of the post is awesome:
"beat: it's raining right now, and I don't know where the tarantula is.
brag: I am drunk, and it is raining.
variance: it is raining."

hahaha

Spleen · #10 09-18-2006, 03:22 AM

You limped in Presex; takes balls ( blue ones in this case) to admit to that. It will only get better next time though right? Nice job on going down though, is great for repeat business and they tell their friends about that so its good for future prospects. Just jerk off to get rid of blue balls.